The need to maintain family ties

happily, am back again on screens with my second lecture my first lecture was on education and today my topic is going to be about family many people had asked the prophet Muhammad Sallallahu alaihi wasallam this question how to maintain family ties when the family doesn't even make any efforts to maintain its ties with you what are you supposed to do? and it looks like this issue has become more and more common in our communities lately but fortunately, the beloved had answered this question for us perfectly and the messenger of Allah said that the person who perfectly maintains the ties of kinship is not the one who does it because he gets recompensed by his relatives for being kind or good to them but the one who truly maintains the bond of kinship is the one who persists in doing so even though the latter has severed the ties of kinship with him. so the issue of having difficulties with certain family members that make maintaining the ties so hard is not an excuse to break those ties because the reality of the matter is that breaking those ties have much more severe consequences on the individual and the "Ummah" at large than the momentary relief we get from avoiding uncomfortable relations so this is one of the major issues we need to reconsider, now if each one of us starts to break the types of kinship with certain family members then how are we supposed to have united and very strong Ummah, because the divisions start at home, it starts in the family it starts in not being able to rise above conflict and misunderstandings it starts when we are favoring the ego over the greater goodness Subhanallah and this is exactly what Iblis or wants to achieve... now according to the messenger of Allah, he said Iblis places his throne upon water and then he sends detachment in creating dimensions, so the nearer to him in rank are those that are very notorious when it comes to creating dimensions, one of them comes and says did so so and so and then iblis says you have done nothing and among them, the other one comes and says did not spare so so and so until sowed the seed of discord between husband and wife so iblis comes close to him and embraces him and says you have really done well so one of the greatest goal of iblis is to inflict egos and instill disagreement between family members because that is what will lead to having broken homes in very weak Ummah that is unable to fulfill its purpose of creation okay and Allah says in Quran chapter 3.110 that you are the best nation produced as an example for mankind, you enjoin what is right and you forbid what is wrong and you believe in Allah so when we don't enjoin what is right because it is difficult and we indulge in what is wrong because it's the only excuse we have then ultimately this takes away our pride in honor as nation. Now looking at the Quranic verses and noble prophetic hadith on this issue is quite eye-opening so without further ado let's look at why it is really urgent to start mending our family issues today and this time around I'm going to put the bulletins on your screens so you can see... one Jubair bin Mut'am reported this from the messenger of Allah peace be upon him and the prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam said that the one who serves the ties of kinship will not enter paradise so maybe it is about time we sit down to critically analyze and ask ourselves this question is it worth it? is whatsoever the reason or the excuse that led us to break the ties of kinship with certain family members worth losing the eternal Jannah? my dear brothers and sisters paradise is not light matter it needs efforts and sacrifice and Allah says in Quran chapter 3.141 that or do you think that you will enter Paradise while Allah has not yet made evident those of you who fight in his course and made evidence those of you who are steadfast? so this is something we need to reconsider and strengthen the relationship with all family members if we want to enter paradise all together.... now two Abu Darda narrated that the prophet of Allah said or he asked his people shall not inform you of something more excellent in degree than fasting, prayer, and almsgiving that sadaka and the people replied yes the messenger of Allah and the prophet said it is putting things right between people, spoiling them is the shaver, it's actually highly destructive Subhanallah so this is actually the reward of mending relations between people let alone family members so think if we want to end double reward we have to work on maintaining good relations with family members.... and three The prophet peace be upon him said that he who believes in Allah and the last day let him maintain good relations with kins so when we basically work on maintaining the relations with kins we are actually practicing true faith in Allah because we are favoring him over our personal conflict so if we want to prove to Allah that we believe in him and we have faith in him and he said or he says that we should work on maintaining good relations with kins four now Aisha reported this from the messenger of Allah the messenger of Allah said the bond of relation is suspending from the throne and says he who keeps good relations with me Allah will keep good connection with him but whosoever servers relations with me Allah will server connection with him, so this in and of itself is quite alarming and it should be something that makes us reconsider what we do and it consequences six actually, we all have these desires to compete in giving charities okay but unfortunately, we tend to forget that giving charity to family member is actually more rewarding than the other charities we are doing or we are dreaming of doing it was narrated from Salman bin Amir that the prophet Muhammad said giving charity to poor person is charity and no doubt about that of course but giving charity to relative earns you two things on one hand charity and on the other hand upholding the ties of kinship Allahuakbar, so probably we need to reconsider if we want to embark on charity projects and other things like that. seven now this was narrated from Abu Bakr that the messenger of Allah peace be upon him said there is no sin more deserving that Allah hastens the punishment in this world in addition to what is stored up for him in the here-after than injustice and severing the types of kinship Subhanallah, so basically Allah doesn't hasten punishment in this world but when it comes to injustice and severing the types of kinship, these can trigger the punishment in this world in addition to what is going to be stored up for him in the hereafter Subhanallah eight now Allah showed us in the Quran and in the examples of the prophets the perfect path to follow okay, so we see in surah yusuf how prophet Joseph was unjustly treated by his own brothers, his own brothers conspired against him so they wanted to kill him so at the end they ended up throwing him in the well and lied about his disappearance but what he did was actually gracious and inspiring he faced those trials with beautiful patience he didn't complain to anyone he only complained to Allah not friends nor did he complain on social media he didn't retaliate with actions or words he only complained to Allah and eventually Allah brought him back his right and elevated him above all his brothers and even elevated the status in the world and the next... this is why after everything prophet yusuf went through he forgave his brothers even though he had greater chance of taking revenge on them but instead he said no blame will there be upon you today Allah will forgive you and he is the most merciful of the merciful and this is mentioned in Quran chapter 12 verse 92 so my dear brothers and sisters this is our path the path of the prophets so let's work harder to not allow the feelings of animosity grow between us it is not in our benefits to allow satan to inflict our egos make us stubborn and resentful and make us hold grudges against one another and prefer separation and division over unity choose unity for the sake of allah and he will bring you your right back and open the doors for you this is the result of upholding the right conduct to despite challenges Abu Huraira reported that person said to the messenger of Allah have relatives with whom try to have closer relationship but they server this relationship treat them well but they treat me ill am sweat to them but they are so harsh towards me upon hearing this the messenger of Allah said if it is so as you say then you, in fact, throw hot ashes upon their faces and they would be always or they would always remain with you on behalf of Allah an angel to support you an angel who would keep you dominant over them so long as you adhere to this path of righteousness okay so what is better than having an angel and greater support from Allah by your side aiding you in all what you're doing so basically what can we do to fix these relations today and in my personal opinion think we just have to be creative in getting in touch with family members it's not always about getting them nice gifts and fancy stuffs okay we have to be sentimental and thoughtful about them we can give them call we can send text messages in our free time if we are confronted with rudeness in any way then be silent and leave the desire for retaliation for the sake of Allah the messenger of Allah peace be upon him said he who believes in Allah in the last day let him speak good or remain silent so in any way when you try to get in touch with any family member and there is misunderstanding or there is any confrontation with rudeness just just be silent there shouldn't be any word of retaliation or something of that sort and also we follow the example of prophet joseph and take the lead in forgiving and letting things go and Allah says in quran chapter 24 verse 22 and let not those of virtue among you and wealth swear not to give aid to their relatives and the needy and the emmigrants for the cause of allah and let them pardon and overlook would you not like that Allah should forgive you and Allah is forgiving and merciful we also have to make dua for them make dua for yourself in the ummah at large our hearts soften when we make dua for one another and the angels may dua for the one who makes dua for others in the absence okay so let's fill our lives with duas praying for peace and mercies for our relatives transcending above egos and evil whispers and uniting for the sake of Allah and the barakah that this brings to our lives our health our children and our communities at large so my dear brothers and sisters it is in our benefits to rise above ego anger jealousy and all other reasons that break our ties because they are simply not worth it in the grand scheme of events and on the day of judgment when we are going to meet the almighty Allah let's avoid taking revenge for personal matters just try to be the better person okay retaliating will only exacerbate the issue and it is narrated that the prophet never took revenge for his own sake but if the laws of Allah were violated he will take revenge for the sake of Allah anger will lead to division within the muslim community okay so avoid anger especially with regards to the differences in opinion don't let this minute different break apart the muslim communities please Hasan, that is jealousy and envy is among the most destructive emotions or feelings okay which man may have towards his fellow human being it causes him to wish evil for others and to be very happy when misfortune befalls them but the prophet Muhammad sallallahu alaihi wasallam had warned against envy by comparing it to fire that completely burns the wood so the beloved said that beware of jealousy for verily it destroys good deeds just like the way fire destroys wood so hasad is disease of the heart and it causes nothing but impurity it doesn't have anything good for you at all so my brothers and sisters we rather would have to work on cleansing our heart with good deeds than encouraging the shaver of our good deeds subhanallah Hasad is such dangerous characteristic that Allah revealed verses of the Quran to be recited as protection from the jealous and that is surat al-falaq so may Allah protect us from the from the jealous and the envy envy heart so my dear brothers and sisters will end my lectures here and then hopefully my next lecture is going to be about Islam and politics so may Allah forgive us of our short comings of course we all make mistakes we're still learning so wherever we we make mistakes before the angel of death capture our soul and not save us from the punishment of the grave make our graves spacious so that we may rest in peace until you resurrect us to meet you on the day of judgment yaa Allah and that save us from hellfire and admit us to Jannatu Firdaws with our family Ameen yaa rabb assalamualaikum