When Does An Ex Start Missing You Me

When does an ex start missing you? This is Coach Lee, and I'm going to explain when your ex will start missing you, if they're going to, and what you need to do to give this the best chance of happening. First of all, you have to do your part, and that is, you have to start the no contact rule. That means you're not going to contact them, you're not going to look at their stories, you're not going to write them letter, you are not going to interact with them. And this is not manipulative game. This is not where, I'm not being an adult because I'm not actually talking through this situation." Your ex doesn't want to talk; they broke up with you. And if it's situation where they do want to talk, then you should talk to them if this is still in the stage of where it's potentially something that can be worked out just by conversation, and you two maybe are not fully broken up, or your ex actually requests conversation with you. But if they have broken up with you and they've told you, "This is my decision, this is what want," and you have expressed your stance on this, being that you don't want to break up, you think you two are good together, and that's at least been stated once, that has happened, it is completely in the court of your ex. And I'm not talking about situations where you have done something that portrayed the relationship, like cheating, or you were exceptionally cruel or mean to their family, some sort of issue that you need to apologize for, in which case, you need to do that. But I'm just talking about where someone says, "You know, it's not working out," or "My feelings changed," or need to work on myself," those cliché excuses that are fake and are just said so that you hopefully won't try to debate them on it. So, it's one of those breakups; you cannot get anywhere by talking to them. And so, that's why you simply give them the breakup. That means you're not fighting it; you're not constantly showing up or trying to contact them to talk about it, or crying, or begging, or pleading, or anything like that. You're basically just saying, "This is what you want. don't want this, but can't change your mind. can't force you to change your mind," and that's very mature response, where you have decided, "I'm not going to go where I'm not welcome. I'm not going to try to force the door open when it's locked," and that's mature response. It's not manipulation; it's not not being an adult; it's actually what adults do. If someone says, don't want to hang out with you. don't want to be your friend," or rejects you in some way, the adult response is not to pester and beg and yell and try to convince them. It's actually where you state your disagreement but then realize they are their own person, they're their own independent person and thinker, and that you can't force them to believe like you believe or to want what you want. That is maturity, and surprisingly enough, maturity is very attractive. And so, if you show these things, you allow your ex to miss you. And this has to be in place; this is the groundwork for your ex to miss you because if you won't go away, if you keep showing up, if you keep staying in their life, keep interacting with them, then your ex can't miss you. It's impossible if you're there; they can't miss you because you are still there, you are not missable because you're right there. And so, you have to do this if you want them to miss you. You can't have it both ways, where you keep interacting with them, keep asking them to get back together with you, and all that, but then at the same time, you hope that they miss you or you're wondering when are they going to miss me. Well, you have to actually be away from them; you have to remove yourself from their life, like they're requesting, in order for them to miss you. And this is true even if they say, "No, want you in my life as friend. just can't imagine being without you." If you don't want friendship, then you have to disappear in this situation as well, so that they will miss you and can actually look at this and maybe appreciate you and the role that you were in their life, to miss the intimacy that they have with you, to be able to reflect on the past because you're not there, and so they kind of recreate you in their mind and they think about those times, those good times. And these are very good things; they're powerful things, but you have to actually lay the groundwork for this to happen; you have to allow them to miss you. Number two is they have to move beyond the first stage after the breakup, which is the relief stage, and they have to be able to get past that, and how that happens is, as mentioned in number one, first of all, you have to leave them alone, and you have to not fight it, because if they think you're fighting the breakup, then they will be defensive, and they will be trying to get further away from you, and they will be seeking relief. They'll be seeking the happiness they think is beyond the breakup, and if you don't give that to them, then they will keep thinking they have to try to chase it; they have to run away from you to get it, that you are their enemy in this, that you're opposed to the breakup, and therefore they have to fight against you. And as long as they're doing that, they can't feel relief. And though that's the hardest thing for the person who's been broken up with to do is to just give them the breakup, you have to do it so that they stop fighting, and they can actually get that temporary place and that temporary stage where they feel relieved. Now, here's the thing: if you were just awful to them, if you were selfish and put yourself over them all the time, if you rejected them, if you mistreated them, if you treated them like your slave, or your cash cow, or something like that, then they might stay in relief for long time, and to be honest with you, they might not ever want to get back together with you. speak to situations for the most part where the relationship was good, and it seemed like things faded out, or you two started bickering and misunderstood each other, and situations like that, for the most part. Now have specific videos on those other situations, but in this video, I'm talking about relationship that was good at one point, that both of you enjoyed being in, and where you cared about each other and loved each other, and there was romance. That's the situation I'm talking about. And if you can stop the fighting, where you're pulling them and keeping them from getting the relief they think they want, that's when they can actually go into that relief stage, and they think, "Yes, this is great. got the breakup over with," and they probably didn't want to hurt you, unless they're really bad person, in which case you're better off. They just wanted to get this awkward situation, this awkward conversation over with, and break up with you, and then they think it's going to just be smooth sailing, and they're going to ride off into the sunset. But usually, it doesn't happen quite that way. They go into relief, and they think, "This is good," but then, because you are not doing anything, it's very difficult for someone to just flick switch and move on from someone, unless they wronged them in terrible way, or the person moving on is sociopath. So if that hasn't happened, and your ex is not sociopath, then relief is going to end, and there's going to be some, at least, negative, some frustration. Usually, it just starts off with curiosity, and have video about that called "Stages Your Ex Goes Through During No Contact." Other people talk about stages that an ex supposedly goes through after breakup. The difference is, I'm right. But you can watch that video, and basically, it's where they go into curiosity because you're not doing anything, and they kind of thought you would, even if they hadn't really thought that much about it. If you asked them to tell you what they think, and I'm not saying that you do that; I'm using generic "you," someone asked them, "Did you think that this person would pursue and chase you after you broke up with them?" Most of the time, they're going to say, "Yeah, did," and they might not even realize that that's what they thought, but just that incredibly need is little bit, you just get the tires moving down the hill, and things speed up. And so, once they get past relief, and they're in curiosity, that's when the potential exists the most, that they can go into the next stage, which is concern, and that's when they can start really missing you. And they can miss you in curiosity, but again, you have to do your part; you have to stay away. Before get to number three, get more information on my Emergency Breakup Kit. It's powerful guide to help you get your ex back. It explains all this, and other situations that you haven't even thought of, and the goal is to help you to get back with the one that you love. It's the emergency breakup kit. You can get it at MyExBackCoach.com/ebk as an Emergency Breakup Kit. That's myexbackcoach.com. You can click; you can go get the kit, and you can actually start making progress in terms of getting back together with the one you love. It's my Emergency Breakup Kit; get it, and start making progress to get your ex back. Number three is they have to believe it, and that's difficult part because it can take patience from you. Some people take lot longer, longer than others, and so the first few weeks, especially if we're talking about someone, maybe who knows they're attractive, they're used to attention, and they think you can't hold out, and so they think, "Well, am curious. am starting to miss them little bit, but bet they can't hold out much longer." And this is especially true if you didn't handle the breakup well, and who does? I'm not getting onto you for that; it's difficult, it hurts, and lot of times, people will behave poorly. You'll beg and plead and cry, and you'll show your pain. Pain, lot of times, it's because you don't know what else to do, and it's shocking, it's emotional shock, it's emotional betrayal, it feels like you were just abandoned. And so, understand it completely, but unfortunately, sometimes that can cause the other person to think that you are so into them, and that you want to be back together so much, that you certainly will be reaching out. That's what they could think for time, and that's why this takes patience, and it can be 2, 3, four months sometimes, to where you don't hear from them. lot of times, you do hear from them sooner, and it's actually the norm that you would hear from them within the first month and half or two, but sometimes it does take longer. Just know, the best thing that you can do is to not talk to their friends, not talk to their parents, or anyone related to them, or who's around them, who would tell them how you're doing. You want mystery, and so if one of their friends does come up and start talking to you, do your best to change the subject, or to just say, "I'm doing pretty good, all things considered. I'm enjoying life," something vague and casual like that. If you can change the subject or prevent it from being talked about before it even starts, that's best because you really don't want your ex to get any information. Mystery is best because that means they will actually have to seek the answers. Questions are more powerful than the answers because questions cause you to try to get the answers. Once you have the answers, it's kind of relief, even if it's bad news; sometimes, there is some relief to that, and you don't want to give them any of that. You don't want to let them breathe when it comes to finding the answers about you. And so, the longer you can stay silent, the longer you can stay invisible, day after day, then they will start to believe it, and that's when there's lot more power behind no contact, is when they start to believe and understand you can stay away. You are strong enough to stay away from them. That's really the first hurdle to jump once they get out of the relief stage, is you want them to have that awareness where they are sitting there, and they glance over their phone, they realize it's been 2 weeks, it's been 4 weeks, it's been 6 weeks, and you haven't reached out. You're showing them you can stay away. Not only is that excellent for getting your ex back, for at least starting that process, but also later, when, and if, you two do get back together, you want them to know that if they break up with you, that you're not going to chase them and make them feel super sexy, and validate them, and let them use breakup as manipulation tool to make you drop to your knees and beg, or to get you to behave right, or something like that. You don't want that; that's miserable, and you want to make sure that you teach them that, you show them if they break up with you, they're not hearing from you. That you'll give it to them. That is true strength, and that's what's attractive. That's what can make someone start missing you because you allow them to do it. That's what can make your ex start missing you because you allow them to do it. Number four, there must be missable memories, and most people have that if it was good relationship. And so, you should feel good about that, if those things exist, because they will start thinking about them. Most people in this situation begin to analyze things because once they become curious, and they realize you're not going to do the work of getting the two of you back together, and that you're not going to fix what they broke, and that they are just out there with their own decision, having to live in it, that's when they actually have to start asking themselves, "Did make the right decision?" Because there's no pressure when they make the decision, and you're begging and pleading, and they think, "Wow, all I'd have to do is say yes, and we get back together," but when you stay away from them, they actually start questioning that, and that can make them start missing you because they might have to come face to face with the idea that that assumption is wrong, that you won't be the one to beg and plead and chase, and make it really easy for them to finally just say, "Okay, yes, whatever," because it's something you want so badly. Now they have to come face to face with the reality that they broke this, and you're not going to fix it, and so they realize, had better figure this out because my ex is going to move on. The person dumped is going to move on, and I'm not sure if that's what want or not. better be sure." And that's when they start analyzing the relationship, thinking back on it, how you treated them, how the two of you were together, the memories you have, the good times. They start thinking about those things, and that only helps you, unless the relationship was terrible, in which case, why would you want it back? But that helps you, for them to remember those things. And if they have missable memories, then we're getting closer to when your ex starts missing you and wants to come back. Number five, they can't be sociopath. sociopath is someone who can just toss relationship or person aside like it was nothing. Now, there are more things involved than someone being sociopath, but that's usually one of them. And our modern society has contributed to some people having sociopathic tendencies, and that is, well, there's catalog. What's the catalog? It's people catalog. You can just go to an app and dial up another person, and we live in this fantasy land where we think we can just, want that, and want that, and want that, and want that," and can hit the submit button, and there he is, the man of my dreams, or there she is, the woman of my dreams, and all have to do is turn these knobs and press this button. And that's the world we live in. And so, when we're around someone, we do what you shouldn't do in relationship, which is look at this person who's being good to you, doing their best, and thinking, have other options if want them." Now, that sounds good at the onset, but that's terrible way to be in relationship. If you are thinking about your other options, you're going to sabotage your own feelings about the other person and the relationship, and that's the world we live in, where that has been created, and we see people as disposable, interchangeable, and if we ever want somebody else, it's easy to just go dial it up and get somebody better. That's not true, first of all, and trust me, have long list of SOB stories about that being the case. But the other thing is that we should not allow ourselves to be tempted by such things when we are in relationship. We need to be all-in, and if your ex is not sociopath, and they don't have too much of the catalog mentality because it's difficult to not have it at all, the way that dating apps are pushed on us these days, but if there's not too much of that, and they actually felt like there was something special, some good that's unique about the connection you two had together, then that's when you have the best chance that they can start missing you. But remember, it does start with you, allowing them to miss you. Get more information on my Emergency Breakup Kit. It's really going to help you in the situation that you're in, to do the right things, to avoid the wrong things, and to kind of know what to expect, what to look for, and what to do when they do start coming back so that you don't mess that up, and so that you two don't have the fade-out that can happen sometimes when two people get back together after breakup. This has been Coach Lee. hope you understand more about when your ex will start missing you. Thank you for liking, thank you for subscribing, and thank you for watching.