Anger Iceberg Activity – Anger Management For Kids – Whats Beneath The Surface

Hi Friends! Today you will learn about the anger iceberg. The anger iceberg is visual tool that can help you understand underlying causes of angry feelings, which can then help you better manage your anger. How Does The Anger Iceberg Work? The anger iceberg is diagram that shows an illustration of an iceberg. The tip of the iceberg above the water represents visible signs of anger that you see in yourself or others. Visible signs of anger might include: Yelling, arguing, stomping your feet, clenching your fist, mean words, hitting, kicking, or throwing things. Beneath the surface of the water, you will see the largest portion of the iceberg. This represents thoughts, feelings, and experiences that are not seen by others, but often contribute to the visible signs of anger above the surface. Examples of unseen factors that contribute to anger might include: jealousy, fear, disappointment, embarrassment, pain, stress, or feeling hungry or tired. Why Is The Anger Iceberg Helpful? The anger iceberg can help you understand that even though you may see visible signs of anger in yourself and others, there are often many other factors that are causing the anger. Once you understand some of the contributing factors underneath the surface, you can then offer support to yourself or others to better manage the anger at the tip of the iceberg. It is helpful to know that you are not simply an angry person, and that there is so much more going on inside of you and throughout your life that might be driving your angry feelings. How To Use The Anger Iceberg To Help Yourself And Others If you notice yourself feeling frustrated, angry, or annoyed, pause and think to yourself, “What might be contributing to me feeling this way? Am feeling stressed, tired, hungry, lonely, or overwhelmed?” Reflect on what has happened in your life over the past 24 hours that might be pushing your angry thoughts, feelings, and behaviors to the surface. Once you understand the underlying causes of your anger, you can then use coping skills to help yourself feel better. For example, if stress is causing your anger, then you can use self-care activities or stress management tools to relax. But if you’re hungry or tired, then snack or nap might be better solution. You can also use the anger iceberg to be more understanding toward someone else in your life who is expressing angry emotions. For example, maybe you notice that one of your friends has been irritable and grouchy all day. Instead of reacting negatively to them, you can pause and try to understand what might be driving their angry feelings. Maybe you discover that their grade dropped in one of their classes, which means that they are not eligible to play in their next school basketball game. By learning about what is underlying their angry feelings, you can be more understanding and supportive. So instead of reacting angrily back at them, you can let them know you are there to support them through their disappointment. Practice Using The Anger Iceberg To help you analyze your anger, you can use an anger iceberg worksheet or draw simple anger iceberg diagram on piece of paper. Above the water, list or draw all the signs and symptoms you notice in yourself that let you know you are feeling angry. Underneath the water, list or draw all the thoughts, feelings, and experiences that might be bringing your anger to the surface. Then, brainstorm helpful coping skills that can assist you in working through the underlying causes of your anger. In conclusion, the anger iceberg is tool that helps you understand that anger is secondary emotion, and that there are often underlying factors that push your anger to the surface. Once you understand these underlying factors, you can then take steps to better manage your anger. It can also help you to be kinder and more compassionate to yourself and others when you know that there are hidden factors that make each person feel angry. Sometimes small changes to address these hidden factors can go long way in helping each one of us feel happy, calm, and under control. If you found this video helpful, please like, share, and subscribe! For more social-emotional and mental health resources for kids and teens, please visit www.mentalhealthcenterkids.com. Thanks for watching!