The Phlegmatic In Affection

hello and welcome back to our master class today in this segment we will be discussing the phlagmatic imperfection i'm roy clark and we're here with my wife dr amy amy what can you tell us about the phlagmatic infection so the phlegmatic and affection is very much like the phlegmatic and inclusion and control where they can take it or leave it do you need lot of love don't care what if pull love away don't care they can really just accept whatever is given to them yeah what about giving love they show moderate amount and they can receive moderate amount they have very realistic expectation for love and affection think they are the ones that are most adaptable if you have busy family and it's like well you know what this is busy season of our life we're just really busy with the kids and that's fine okay so they don't their wants and desires are just kind of right in the middle with everything else right yeah they're really happy with whatever is in front of them yeah so that can be good thing the think one of the hard things is that people who are in relationship with them can live pretty lonely life how's that why is that well they tend to deal with life as an observer so they can be around the family that's showing lot of love and affection and they're just really happy watching the mom like hugging the kids or you know just being around the love they feel like they're actually engaging in the love and they're not okay so it's fact of being physically present and emotionally absent sometimes that's challenging yeah right and so if you are married to phlegmatic in affection how do you approach them how do you because we've talked about how they they will not be motivated right okay but are they sensitive at all not really okay they tend to again they make jokes about everything and so they don't they hate conflict so if the husband or wife like whichever one is making big deal about it come on come on like need you know need to feel more love want more intimacy then the flag medic will do it just because i'd rather make love than or have fights okay so but then the spouse feels like well have to beg you for this or the only reason why you're doing this is because you know i'm i'm the one that's bringing it up and getting upset with you just because spouse is asking for more intimacy if i'm asking my spouse for more intimacy and they're phlagmatic right and they agree to participate right right that's not rejection from them right right that's just the way that they're wired yeah they're just really happy think they kind of forget that didn't realize that we haven't made love in while okay they are just so content content they can no matter what if you say i'm gonna sit you in room with the tv for week okay great or we're gonna go on safari for okay let me just whatever you say to them they're gonna be like all right cool let's do it we're gonna make love every every day this week yep okay all right wow so they can tend to well there there's no emotional outburst there's no exaggerated feelings they appear unemotional to people are they unemotional they are so it's not just that they appear they are unemotional yeah yeah so so if you've come from dysfunctional family with lot of yelling and screaming right and you fall in love with phagmatic infection right at first it's probably going to feel just really peaceful yes yes you'd be drawn to that at first right and then be craving some more interaction and and then like when couples get into fights and one person gets very hurt they're wanting those those fights in marriage are really come pursue me i'm crying out want to see if you're there for me and the phlegmatic is just gonna be like they kind of avoid emotion like right i'm just gonna let you cool off yeah all right and i'll be out in the garage until you know you cool down right so somebody who's not phlagmatic in affection right who is italian sorry my italian brothers and sisters right but you know it's generally culture that is known for their boisterous loud you know emotional kind of way of life right they marry phlagmatic and affection you know can just hear them saying why don't you care enough to become emotional yeah right yeah and so again like the phlegmatic they can remain happy even when everybody else is unhappy okay they just they kind of live in their little bubble yeah and so know everybody else is mad and like don't know what to tell you it just so if you're phlagmatic infection your challenge will be to empathize with others if you're married or you have children that are hurting and not necessarily because of you it will still be important that you move beyond your temperament and enter into an uncomfortable zone called empathy for you that doesn't mean that you've got to yell and scream and carry on we do love you for your ability to remain calm but at the same time if you're unable to connect emotionally right this is something that we need to work on they need to work on they need to be cognizant of the family members saying you're distant or don't feel like you you care or pay attention and just being little more engaging so one another good thing about the phlegmatic infection is that they can handle unaffectionate people so if there was melancholy and affection married to phlegmatic and affection think they would get along really well great couple yeah right okay so it can be beneficial but it's just it's really really important in every marriage for people to understand their affection scores right this is where see the most damage in relationships and phlagmatic and affection married to sanguine in affection that's got to be challenging that's not good match right that is challenging match right right right yeah for sure yeah the sanguine is gonna there isn't they will never be satisfied like their their love bucket has hole in it and then no matter how would you fill it up they're just gonna you know okay like i'm ready for more and the phlegmatic would just get exhausted with that yeah yeah we talk about that skin hunger for the sanguine right the phlagmatic is always full yeah they're always full and they'd be like okay like just you know and the sanguine wants like love and passion and right like they want the romance movie so if you're not married take your temperament test which you can actually find at royanamy.com all of our classes and all of our temperament tests all of our personality profiles can be found at royanamy.com this is our last class the of the temperament match class are phlagmatic in affection dr amy thank you thank you would like to actually do one more segment think we're going to throw bonus section in at the end would like to take look at couple of the temperaments and look at the way that they all blend together let's say if you're i'll use you as an example because roy is three different temperaments and just to look at the way that they all influence each other and then maybe even take look at what it would be like to do side-by-side comparison of two temperaments that's one of the things love doing is marriage counseling and looking at the two temperaments side by side and really helping them understand each other so we will throw in one more bonus session for you all right we'll see you in the next segment thank you