An Incredibly Pun ny Stewart Francis Video

love Twister. And although recently met beautiful woman while playing Twister, don't know where stand with her. She was the best Twister player I've ever seen. Hands down. For me, it's always hard talking to pretty woman and then she'll notice it and it'll go soft again. What you going to do? My last girlfriend had really irritating habit. She used to constantly name everyone who sat at the round table night after night after night. tedious. went to the annual procrastinators Halloween party in August where my piñata costume was hit. Ouch. met beautiful woman. She's dressed like Frisbee. Anyway, she got really drunk and threw herself at me. Ouch. Met couple of beautiful women. They're dressed like cheese. So, said, "Hey ladies, why don't we go upstairs for little from We did." And the sex was gouda. As cheese puns go, that was great. By the way, ladies, I'm fantastic in the sack. Why? Just last weekend, won three races. once had girlfriend from Limmerch who always admired my ability to not conform. She had me in bits when she showed me her dolphin tattoo. Is my French wife into golden showers? We we we toilet roll company Velvet say they replace three trees for every one tree they use. don't know. It sounds like lot of to me. Really, Velvet? refuse to let the fact that wear colostomy bag deter me from taking taekwond do lessons. And now have brown belt. I'm obsessed with toilet humor. According to my therapist, who is built like brick house, he's the same therapist that told me can't read body language. And you won't believe what else he said. Are you sitting down? He accused me of being an end denial stalker. said, don't follow." He said, think you like to stalk people. You just refuse to acknowledge it." said, "I'm not with you." He said, "Mr. Francis, I'm just going to end this session and go home. said to five Riverdale Road. He said, "Mr. Francis, is there something you're trying to tell me?" said, "Yes, there is. In the middle of the night, when you're sound asleep, you look adorable. May smell your hair again?" He said, don't don't have heran." He said, don't even know what heran is." Now, please get dressed and leave. All of these jokes are in my autobiography. I've not been able to sell one copy of my autobiography. story of my life. And yet on the best seller list, the book wrote about poo puns has just gone number two. Those of you laughing at my poo puns, thanks. You've done me solid. It's nice to think they've left their mark. Pooh puns. do do them. do do other puns. will be doing puns about Canadian wildlife. Bear with me. I've been doing puns about lizards from the get- go. will be doing puns about monkeys. It's gibbon. don't do puns about lions. pride myself on that. used to do puns about farm animals, but that was hen. This is cow. If you're hoping that don't do puns about people with crooked teeth, brace yourself. If you're waiting for me to do pun about Peter Crouch wearing armor, you're in for long night. I've been doing puns about Mottown music ever since was three. Four tops. love the four tops. If could, I'd like to be great big movie star. night sensation. Drive big expensive car. would buy you everything your little heart desires. fans of the four tops. see. But not everyone is fan of the Ford Tops, nor are they fans of music puns. recently performed on the beautiful Malaysian island of Sumatra, and they hated my music puns. One local was particularly outspoken as to how much he hated my music puns. He was very frank Sumatran, but found Hi, honey. No, he's still on stage. got to go. He's repeating everything say. Here's one. You know that ball launcher gadget you see people with on on the beach and in parks? Did you know that that ball launcher gadget was invented by dog? know it sounds farfetched, but actually now live in caravan. don't don't like living in caravan. It's only when move my caravan beside driving range that it really hit home. How many golf puns do have? No, just the one. Four. That's hilarious. Well done you. How did miss that? It was so obvious. feel I've let you down. will never do that again. Sorry. One of the golf balls recently took out my satellite dish, which means don't get any television reception, which breaks my heart. love television. My favorite show is Two and Half Men. Love that show. Also love Hoarders. I've seen every episode of Hoarders. I've taped every episode of Hoarders. Must have like 5,000 tapes in my living room. Where do they find these people? 3,000 tapes in my kitchen. They're such losers. watch doomsday films like there's no tomorrow. do love British television. now live here in Britain, so that worked out nicely. go back to Canada on holiday. noticed when go back there on holiday that they have the same shows over there as we have over here, just with different names. In Canada, they have show called Cheaters where married people and people in relationships cheat with other married people and people in relationships. Over here, of course, it's called Strictly Come Dancing. How many Len Goodman puns do have? No, just the one. Seven. That was hilarious. Well done you. How did miss that? It's so obvious. feel I'll let you down. will never do that again. Sorry.