Dr Daniel Amens 6 Family Rules to Raise Happy Well Behaved Kids

core conversation number four the brain needs boundaries talk to your kids about boundaries limits and rules because they let them know what to expect and help them feel safe like Society has rules families should as well but not too many one of my OCD patients posted 108 rules on the refrigerator which was overwhelming for everyone here are some of our favorite family Rules one tell the truth honesty builds trust if you make this family rule you have to tell the truth kids do what you do what you model not what you tell them to do for kids who have trouble with the truth do an intervention called Truth training have parents say sometimes I'm going to ask you about things already know the answer to and if you tell me the truth I'll be really happy and if not there will be consequences rule number two we treat each other with respect for younger kids spell it out this means no yelling hitting kicking name calling or put Downs disrespect breeds conflict isolation and loneliness model respect and make it get the expected Norm in your family and it will help kids build positive relationships with others three one of my favorite rules do it mom or dad say the first time parents often tell me they have to tell their kids to do something five or 10 times if you tell child to do something 10 times then you get upset you're teaching them they don't have to obey until you lose control when we tell one of the kids to take out the trash for example if he or she doesn't start moving within reasonable time we'll say you can do it now or you can have this consequence and then you still have to do it it's up to you we train them that we're serious the first time we say things when you communicate and reinforce clear expectations kids generally get the message just do it in firm and kind way always rooting for their success four put things away you take out we believe in building accountability and responsibility even in small children chores and work build self-esteem five ask for permission before you go somewhere even even though many kids complain about it parents need to check where their kids are who they're with and what they're doing kids hate when you check and they hate it more when you don't because they think you don't care of all the rules our favorite one is don't make problem it encompasses all the rules