Fanboys 2009 Full Movie EN Audio BG Subs Adventure Comedy Drama

Heat. Heat. get no doubt again. again Halloween just got awesome, Prepare for the entrance of swords later. Give yourself to the dark side. It's the only way you can save me. Son of Sorry guys, my copies is killing me. Totally restricting my jungles. You going to spill it or fill it, dude? Zoe. Hi. my god, it's been long time. Yeah. You are something with tampons. I'm Picasso's blue period. Get it? Blue period. And you are corporate sleeves. Car salesman. came straight from work. So this is weak as usual, butler. Thank you. So are you here for reunion, boys? Nope. That's just pleasant surprise. Well, enter at your own risk. my god. You You guys have both got to stop perpetuating this myth that Boba Fett is some kind of badass. All right. Wait, he has jetpack. So did the Rocketeer. Really cool. mean, when it comes time for battle, the man's Michael Bay. All style, no substance. If you diss the fat again, will cornhole you with Jesus. Is that Butler? Hey guys, you got lot of nerves showing your face around here. Give daddy huggy. Stop. You little bastard. hope that's just your blaster poking. Got him. It's been par sex. Yeah, it's good to see you, too, man. It's been like what? It's like year now, right? Three. Still drawn. no. bailed on that after high school. How's life in the auto trade? Still second in command of the old man. you you know, comic book store still float, but the geeks aren't biting like the old days. You get my money together so can start my detailing business. I'm going call it touch. That's funny cuz was sworn that you were delivering pizza and living in your mom's garage. It's not garage. It's carriage house. Carriage house. Okay. How is your carriage? Hey, have you guys seen the phone jack? no. But have seen the social who brought his tough book to party. Hey, promise we'll be here I'd write her back tonight. god. She is my girlfriend. Online girlfriend. met her in Jedi chat room. The woman is perfect. She She's intelligent and servic and diehard fan. mean, she's even got connections inside the Lucas camp. She's also got man package and goatee. You guys are all just jealous because she describes herself as cross between Sarah Michelle Giller and Janine Guffalo. Why don't you tell them how you describe yourself? was perfectly honest with her. You said you looked like white Billy Williams. You called yourself white chocolate. am white chocolate. Windows. It's my turn. Give it to me. Midnight. Another day down. Okay. Official episode one countdown is 6 months. 12 days, 8 hours, and some change. would sell my soul to see that movie right here, right now. Dude, would sell my left nut. And only have the one nut. So, you see how serious am? cannot listen to this for another 6 months. shush your mouth, woman. You know, we could see the movie. Please not this again. yes, please. This again. Tell us about the rabbits. George, imagine it. Okay, we drive across the country in one night. We break in to the Skywalker Ranch and steal ourselves prince. You guys have been talking about this since the fifth grade. Okay, it's not going to happen. Why the hell not? Well, first of all, it's 2,000 mi away. Second of all, even if you could get there, you'd be arrested. It's been blast, Berlin. Way to douche up the party. Nothing is impossible. And guarantee I'll find you new or used car or my name isn't Big Chuck. Right, girls? Yeah. All right. Yeah. Out of Boyer. Now, see, that's some slick advertising. Thanks, Pop. Reminds me want that Terry Brookhammer movies. Yeah. Top Gun. Hi, Eric. I'll handle this. Thanks. Hey, we're in the market for some used droids. Should start you guys off with new set of wheels first, unless you're cool riding around in the same rust old box. you've had since the 10th grade. Hey, hey, hey, hey. She may not look like much. She's got it where it counts. why are you guys here? mean, do you want to look around the lot little bit? Drive something? What? No. we came to talk about Lionus. Well, he just needs to realize that people lose touch. That's just kind of the way things work. He's dying. Eric, what? He's got cancer, man. He tried everything to get better, but nothing seems to work. I'd say three, four months maybe. And you guys are telling me this now? We wanted to tell you months ago, honestly. But Lionus made us promise not to say anything. The way we see it, you guys have been best friends since like first grade. So, we figured you got the right to know. You got the right to make your peace. Yeah. How am supposed to make my peace? You know, the guy doesn't even want me to know, right? Well, with all due respect, Eric, this isn't about you. You know what? Holy Jesus Christ. It ain't C3 penis face and R2 What did you just say, you giant bastard? Well, well pushed. Thank you. Still see you're driving the nerd mobile. Chaz, you're an idiot. Hey, you know what? While you're out here sticking GI Joes up your butt. convinced Dad, let me recut the commercial, so suck it. Uhhuh. see you flinch. Now that's going to be too, Princess Leia. Nanu. Nanu, get haircut. We should have killed him when we had the chance. Yeah, jackass. Lionus is coming over to carriage house later. So are you. Bye, Eric. No lightning. No lightning. I'm Flatten your ass right now. Suck it, fagula. Don't te up. That's rule. Ow. Hand crab. Don't kill me. All right. Balls. Made it, man. Your mom said clean up this hole or no grilled cheese for week. That's emotional blackmail and you know it. will sue you. Right. What the hell was he doing here? It was Hak's idea. Grab controller. We're ganging up on Windows and Mario Kart. can't came to talk to Lionus, actually. Can talk to you alone, man? Lus. Hey, stop walking. Lionus, hold up, man. Stop. What the hell, man? did nothing to you. Exactly. You did nothing. Absolutely nothing. Eric Bodler graduates high school and then never looks back. You bailed on our plan, had plan to be the next big thing in comics. Come on, man. That was never going to happen. did what had to do, dude. grew up. I'm the only one who did. Look at you guys. You know, you can fool everybody with this cheap suit salesman of the year pitch, but know you better than anybody. And deep down, you are one miserable son of Miserable, Yeah. Miserable. Because if you ask me, miserable is wasting your life in Hutch's garage playing video games, arguing whether or not Lucy had thing for Leia. You know as well as anybody that as soon as Luke knew Leia was his sister, it was hands off. They still kiss. That was Leia kissing Luke to make Han jealous. Yeah, that was the second time. And that didn't neither the first time. The first time they're about to die. They were swinging 30,000 ft. You know when you're sibling, okay, there's something innate. It doesn't matter. There's no telepathy with the oceani opera. Who cares about this man? Who cares about do. care. We need new car. They were siblings. They were siblings. You sick bastard. You are trapped now. You've made your last mistake. We need to talk. Sure, Bob. What's up? Okay, here's the deal. It's time for the world to see the new face of this company, and his name's Big Eric. Big Eric? Who? Big Eric. You. It's all yours, kiddo. The entire shebang. All 15 locations. I'm here to see you. mean, yeah. Yes. Yeah. mean, wow. Take that. can't take your hat. God. No, really. It looks good on you, but can't. But it's it's really Take the damn hat. Yeah. I'll wear it for my god. Your mom would be so proud to see you in that hat. know. Hey, you and me tanning Tuesdays. You want to take your shirt off? You want to take your shirt off? God. You want to take this shirt off, You have been trying that Jedi mind on me since the eighth grade. It doesn't work. it works. Tell her Windows. He's been geeking out with Rogue Leader all morning. Nothing can tear him away. love the feeling of fresh air on my naked breasts. See that? Man's immune to sweater yams. What about me? like sweaty yams. What'll it be, fellas? How much for the phaser gun? For the phaser gun? Sorry, Garuncle. We don't hawk trek here. Well then, Slim, if you don't sell the TRE, then why do you have phaser gun in the case? We keep this one here to sus out Treky like yourselves and tell them to get the hell off of our land. So, get the hell off of our land. Get the hell off of our land. Get the hell out of here now. Get out of here, you Kirk loving Spock suckers. Hey. Hey, you guys know where guy can pawn off first edition Eric Butler comic? Holy canoli. Look at that. Yeah, that's awesome. Dude, you had sick skills back then. You should have stuck with it, brother. Yeah, would have been broken living in my parents' garage. It's carriage house, right? know it is. have something else that you guys might want to check out. Well, what have we got here? Ohio to California. Is this what think it is? Lionus laid the whole thing out in fifth grade. just figure it's time for another epic journey, isn't it? What's your game plan? We storm the ranch or we die trying. Yeah, but you guys were all about this at the party. You tell Zeus to the wind at the party drunk. Come on. You You even said the rogue leader has connections inside the ranch, right? Rogue leader? Please, man. Windows never even met him. her him. Maybe it's time that he does. Dude, this is suicide mission, man. Why would we even try anything like this for Lionus? No, no, no. I'm not going. Lionus, you've got to go. This is conquest for the ages. Our name shall become legend. Spoken in hush tones by nerds across the galaxy. And we'll get laid more. Okay, please stop that. Sorry, was getting into that. Just don't want to go with Opie over there. Check this out, man. floor plans to look. Yeah. You kidding? How did you get these? My life partner, rogue leader. She can break us in, man. Question you got to ask yourself is, do you have the nut sack to go through with it? If do this, it doesn't change anything. I'll grab my suitcase and some big leak. Yes. Told you. knew he Stop humping. Please stop humping. Just high five. I'm down. Chewy. Chewy. Damn it. Wait second. Whoa. Whoa. What the hell's Chewy? This is the same rules as shotgun. Either way, always lose. Verbal, you do the other. Strap in, fellas. What the hell, Hutch? It's all rush. Everyone little variety. Rush is variety, rule number one in my van. It's rush. All rush all the time. No exceptions. Rule number two, nobody touch the red button. mean, never touch the red button. Most importantly, rule number three, there's no jerking it in my van. Mine, don't roll your eyes at me, Admiral Jack Bar. Established in 1985, the Skywalker Ranch is the headquarters of George Lucas's filmmaking empire. Okay, so according to Rogue Leader's map, our best odds for finding the film is in here, the main house. my god, that place is legendary. And then we meet Rogue Leader at coffee shop in Texas, Wednesday, 3:00 p.m. sharp. Mhm. She's going to give us absolutely everything we need to get to the compound. Nice. Well, White Chocolate finally gets to meet his dream girl. well, according to this, 80 West is our fastest route. So, we got 26 hours to make it to Texas, boys. Consider it done. Wakey wakey. Hands of Sty. It's time for Hutch's pit stop. some say heaven. like to call it Iowa. Iowa? What about Rogue Leader? Iowa. Yeah, made little detour. Hutch. We're supposed to be going to Texas. Welcome to Riverside, gentlemen. Future birthplace of one Captain James Enemy territory. Nice. Man, you drove all night for this, dude. drive all year for the chance to pimp slap some tracking. You know what? Leave me out of it. Let's crack some tracking. All right, let's do this. And it is believed that on this very spot, Captain James Tiberious Kirk will be born. Hence the statue immortalizing him, grappling with his most nemesis, Ricardo Monttovon, genetically engineered tyrant, Khan. He doesn't look like either of them. Thank you for pointing that out. That is because the at Viacom International threatened to sue us if we use their likenesses. So, we make do. Yes, the gentleman in the in the beige. was wondering what did Sulu find in Captain Kirk's laboratory? Sulu clearly found standard issue Starfleet Z23 personal refuge device. believe it was captain's log. Very good. laugh day. Keep the doctor away, everyone. We've been saved. Any other comic relief? They're still homeless out there. Hey. Yes. What? You what? Yes. What is the Cllingon translation for you're going to die virgin? Yep. Yep. That's what Okay. Hilarious. Everyone, looks like we got more Lucas hounds here to mock Rodenberry. Congratulations, gentlemen. But would like to see your Darth Vader take on one Borg drone. We'll see who's laughing. Darth Vader could put the entire Borg collective in vice grip with his mind. Darth Vader has asthma. So, name me one Star Trek character with respiratory disease, cuz I'm drawing blank. Name me one Star Wars character who's gay. Yeah, besides you. Well, no one's gay in Star Trek, so why would even do that? Captain Bard. Okay, Captain Bard is not gay. He's British. Come on, make it so. Well, hate to break it to you losers, but Han Solo's no. I'm sorry. What did you just say? Is there problem here? Yeah, there sure is. Spock. The admiral here just called Han Solo Good one. It's pretty strong word for Treky. Okay, Treky is derogatory at this point in the game. Treker is what we're called now. Treker. Treky. Let's just take look. See what's with the man purse. Yeah, as thought. Scanner reads, "Douchebag. Push me. I'll kill your whole Starfleet." Sneak. Snick. Come on, Bob. Attack you coward. That's an order. Cover me. Windows. made some maneuvers. made some maneuvers. know you this out. can't. Disable the vehicle. Get in. Go. Go. Go. Get in the veh. Get in the vehicle. Disable the vehicle. Kill the steroids. Han Solo is still Nobody calls hot solo Hey bottler, hit him with the press. my goodness. I'm telling you, man. took that Vulcan down hard, man. roll him into the dirt like he was my freaking ton. Ton my ass. If it wasn't for me, you guys would all be dead. Seriously, man. What fight were you watching? was channeling the emperor. The emperor. The emperor. never remember the emperor crapping his robe and screaming, "Time out." my god. That's right. There is such thing as time out. can feel your anger growing inside the timeout. my. Time out. We had to take your van, Hutch. have access to literally thousands of vehicles, but we had to take your van. Yeah, well, had spare tire, but some tardo took it out to make some room for his grappling hook. What? We're on covert operation. How could you be on covert operation without grappling hook? Wait, what in Greo's name is that? I'll talk letter SC. You guys stay right here. I'll take care of this. How you doing, fellas? So, car broke down couple miles back. Is there someone you know who can help us? No. Yeah, glass of water, please. Great. Buy her teeth. Buy her teeth. Buy her teeth. Thank you. 100 bucks for glass of water. That's ridiculous. I'm not going to pay that. Sure you will. Hell no. Hell no. Back up, buddy. Back off. Word to the wise. Essay. You best drop the tough ass biker routine before get angry. You won't like me when I'm angry. think would. Hush. Let's not do that. Nah. This guy wants to dick with me. Fine. can dick. used to rape guys 15 times your size in prison. So, you best back off. so help me God. I'm going to pound your ass so hard. Jesus. No. Hutch. What? There's kind of thing in this bar like that. nay on the ass pounding. $100. That's cool. Afraid it's too late for that essay. Our midnight entertainment bail. Time to pay for that drink. dear God. We're going to pay up here early. You got bottle in manoodle now. Take it off. Nobody puts baby in the corner. You want some swazy action, Yeah. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. He's got one ball. Had toy lightsaber battle went wrong when was child. All right. All right. All right. Show's over, fellas. You boys took wrong turn. Our car broke down. The chief can fix it. Chief, this is some kickass gu. feel funny, tingly. feel good. Guys, don't think we're eating your everyday garden variety. I've got recipe for avocado, onion, chopped garlic. Wow. And the cheese secret ingredient. My god. My god. My god. What? You are right beside you. She's up in your leg. It's off in your leg. Knew that. She's up in your leg. love you. Death is but path to life, passage to the stars, to the universe. know what you mean. You mean the force? The force. Yeah, my dad's going to kill me. got to get to work on Monday. No. Join me, son. Come to the dark side. Rogue leader. The hell are you doing, man? You poke me. god. Don't flatter yourself, okay? It's just my R2. My lucky R2. You wish you had the height and girth of D2. Wow, man. Son of The abuse is back. The chief fixed it while you boys were asleep. The chief fixed it. Is he around? Can we thank him? He's the chief. You're the chief, aren't you? Why don't you say so? The chief likes to refer to himself in the third person. Causes confusion, especially with the Well, you're cool as balls. You burned out old hash head. Wonder the twin powers activate. It's been interesting. You need it more than do. Wow. Thank you. Good luck. Who's up for Texas boys? was living on kiss and tunnel in subic. She's love. She's love. She's in my head. She's love. She's love. She's love. She might be dead. Thank you, ladies. Harrison Ford is the greatest actor of all time in the history of cinema. He's hand solo Indiana Jones. Yes. Yes. Exactly. Greatest actor of all time. He's never done bad movie. Does that sign say Electric Fence? Hope she's still here. she'll be here. give her taste of that white chocolate. What do you think? my god. Toy me. You ready? Yeah. Thank you. Nice. Go get her. Where have you guys rogue leader, presume. Red six. Put my glasses on. What the hell? You're kid. You're Wait, you're 12? I'm 10. You're 10? Yes. promised I'm pedophile. I'm pedophile. I'm pedophile. Simone, please. have to say watch. have the state of watch. Yay. Yay. Fantastic. We drove 1,000 miles. Windows. 1,000 for what? So you can get funky strawberry shortcakes. It's not really sex of cyber sex. Relax. Look, we're going to sit down. We're going to put on our thinking caps and we're going to get better plan. No, it's have to be back by Monday. haven't told you guys this yet, but my my dad gave me the company. Hey, thanks. Yeah, the whole thing the whole thing is is mine now. What's the new game plan? Let's get in the van and get the hell out of here. This is just minor setback. It's minor setback for you, dude. live in the real world. Okay. have to go back to work. You have to go back to your mom's garage. It's carriage house. It's garage, man. Say it again. The garage. said just said it. Excuse me. Okay. Harry Nolles. Harry who? This man is the ultimate fanboy, Eric. His website, any cool news. It's like every gig's home, man. Which one of you Windows? Me. I'm Windows, dude. Nice to meet you. Harry knows kicking windows down. Now you listen to me, perv. If you ever email my niece again, will hunt you down like T1000. Okay, Mr. Dolls, look, he didn't know. Okay, release my friends. Listen, we wanted to break into the Skywalker Ranch. Kimmy over there said you give us the floor plans. Okay. We were going to break in and steal episode one. That's it. That is the stupidest thing I've heard since Shoeacher put nips on Batman. These aren't the droids you're looking for, man. Anybody else have any stupid comments? Yeah, it's very stupid. know, but true. We've been We've been planning this since we were like six. Listen, Harry. Harry, if you help us out, we'll give you all the exclusive spoilers and all that. Okay. that's an interesting offer. Episode 5 was directed by who? Urban Kersner. it's just warm-up. You in episode 6, when Leia shoots down two scout troopers, why doesn't she take one of the speeder bikes instead of walking? If you pay attention closely, the speeder bikes were destroyed. Okay. And then Luke refers to it later on in dialogue. Impressive. wasn't really worried about you, though. What was Luke Skywalker's call signed during the rebel assault in episode 4? Brad, you are all Only as strong as your weakest link. Hello, weakest link. What? What is the name of Chewbacca's home planet? Well, it's never discussed in the movies. That's the know. know. Do you give up? Come on, man. Say it. Kashik. Kashik. Chewy's whole planet is Kashik. Chewy's whole planet is Kashik. Well played, boy. I'll help you. You're going to meet my friend in Vegas. He's got everything you need. Okay. Well, how will we know he is? don't worry. You'll know the password. Scruffy Nerf Herder. Scruffy Nerf Herder. Good luck, boys. Nice detailing. We're going to Vegas, fellas. Hey, Hutch. You mind slowing down? Sorry, don't speak Jag off. You know, just thought it might be nice to get to Vegas alive. crap, man. Are you kidding me? We got Imperial Bacon. Okay, probably not the best time to tell you guys this, but there's giant bag of peyote in the back of the van. What? Excuse me? Chief gave it to me. Hutch, just pull over and get the ticket, man. Okay, we can't pull over with big ass bag of peyote on it. Do what he says, Hutch. Do what he says, Hutch. Hutch, do what he says. Hutch, do what he says. Do what he says, Hutch. Okay, fell. It's going to be okay. Pull over, man. Suck my exhaust. Pork ride. Jesus. Talk to me, Goose. Talk to you. He's back. God, move this piece of You don't call my man piece of We got to break rule number two. Chewy, prepare to make the jump to hyperspace. Okay, buddy. I'm ready. Somebody tell me what the goddamn red button's for. It's light speed, kid. Light speed. Okay. Punch it. What? Come on. No. Okay, I'm resetting. I'm resetting. Light speed. Impressive. put tank of nitrous in this thing. It's not firing. Please do something. What? Damn it. It's working. on target. On target, probably shouldn't have called that cop think he took it the wrong way. god. Jesus. god. Jeez. Well, look on the bright side, you guys. This trip can't get any worse. You just did, boys. What? got to drop super pick. What? Yeah, got to throw her into reverse. Butler, give me your sandwich, bro. Hook me up. No sandwich. I'm not going to sit on this. He's crawling with criminal ass. You just hover, man. Okay, listen up. You prefuse. You got visitor. It's sweet can of corn. The hell are you doing with that ham sandwich, boy? That's not right what you're doing. Dutch, you owe me sock. had wife with something. You owe me big time. Zoe, thank God. You weren't sure if you'd gotten our message. If by message you mean windows shrieking into my answering machine like little girl, then yes, message received. You don't know what we've been through. Hud just took dump in front of us. Yeah, let's laugh inside the big house. Zoe, promise me you brought the money. cleared out every scent Windows had in the comic store. You what? Don't even speak. took two taxis, an airplane, and an all night bus ride next to an old man that am pretty sure had full diaper. Hey, hey, okay. Okay. Visiting time's over. Judge wants to see you all in his private chambers. yeah. Just one more thing. Whatever you do, do not make fun of his name. Let me see if got this right. Now, you tried to outrun an office of the law because you obtained bag of peyote from Mexican Indian chief who thought it would help treat your friends. terminal illness. Yes. I'm going to let you boys go. Not because believe you. Because believe your father. My father? Mhm. You actually spoke with my dad. Sure did. He wanted me to give you this message. Approach the bench. Have nice day, son. Yeah, man's gone. Carbonite freeze on us. We got to be in Vegas in less than 24 hours. All right, go smack some sense into the boy. Whoa. Cut him some slack. Okay, just mapped out our route to Vegas on my tough book. And the closest airport's about 100 miles north of here. So, all we got to do is drop the old Zoe off and it's straight shot to Sin City. hold on. You haul my ass out into the middle of nowhere and expect me to just jump on the first plane back. Sorry, it's not going to happen. Come on. You know this trip is men only. I'll tell you what, I'll get on the plane. If any one of you can take me down. Listen, princess. No one wants to see you get hurt. Don't look at bots. Hutch. Get off of me. Help me. my god. Get her off of me. Get her. Be man. Hutch. Get her off of me. Hutch. Save. Time out. Don't just stand there. Shoot her. Someone shoot her. Help me. For God's sake. God help me. Gentlemen, get the jaws of life. I'm dead. Welcome aboard. Now go get Aaron. Yes, sir. And be nice. You're lucky have crush on you. They'll box you. Okay. You know could do this. Start life here. Clean slate, fresh air, no pressure, no responsibility. Yeah, it seems nice, man. In theory, it sounds nice. bet there's not even like blockbuster video within 500 miles of here. Like falafa hut or Guys, shut up. just figured if worked hard and sold enough cars and pressed my dad enough times, i'd feel something. You got to find your Death Star. Okay, I'll bite. Greatest deed Luke Skywalker ever did was take down the Death Star, right? As far as I'm concerned, that's what everybody needs. You need that one badass thing. Let you live on forever, you know. Hey, Spice Girls, are you going to swap recipes all day? Vegas awaits, ladies. Here's where you learn how to do Vegas fanboy style. You guys think of what I'm thinking? They are everywhere. Child, this is so gay. You you might want to hit the showers cuz you smell like something in my nose. Yes, your highness. God's name is living on your chest. Looks like you fell on ALF. forgot. Look who's back in uniform. Nice. Yeah, it's almost 8:00, so we got to go meet Perry's contact. Then let's go. You guys coming? All right, I'll catch up with you guys later. I'm just going to do bit of pillaging the tables first. 22, loser. That is mathematically impossible. must have the worst luck in the northern hemisphere. Heard about the rogue leader debacle? That's one for the record books. Hey, cross between Sarah Michelle Geller and Janine Garop. It's too good to be true. just have to face the fact, Zoe. I'm 24 years old and I've only ever copulated with one woman. Plenty of guys have only been with one woman. don't know that many women who've only been with one woman. I'm female kryptonite. Look, you're finer on me. Well, yeah. Of course am. That's cuz you're not girl. You know what mean? No. Please enlighten me. You know every Bond villain. You constantly quote Clash of the Titans. And you beat every Zelda game Nintendo's ever released. mean, dude, dude, dude, dude. 3:00, man. Atties on the slotties. would knock the nickels out of that mother. Dude, you're going to be my dak today. All right. I'm in my league. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You want to just talk to them? Yeah. It's called having balls. Or in your case, one ball. Come on, Eric. Mine has been waiting. What are you, her wife? Let's go. Wait, you're going over there? Turns out you're more clueless than you think. And apparently so am What does that mean, Zoe? Zoe. Come on. Hi there. Hello. Hi. How are you? Hi, ladies. You ladies looking for love in all the wrong places. Excuse me. Aldderon is the last planet destroyed by the death star. Daniel son, what my socially friend was trying to say was that we'd like to maybe buy you two girls beverage. Sure. Sure. my god. You know, Eric Minus waiting for us. think that they're going to understand. They're going understand. Where are they, man? It's almost It's almost 8:00. don't know. don't know where they are, but we don't have time to wait for him. Come on. Convention rooms this way. Let's go. Yes, sir. Faces on stone. Being the CEO of my own company, I'm not going to lie to you. get lot of perks. got big ass mansion, you know. got butler, Maurice, Bentley in the drive, flux capacitor. mean, that 1.21 gigawatt, that don't come cheap, you know. But got the duckets, you know. Wow. There's nothing more sexy than man with power. What do you mean? Like you like you like power? Uh-huh. like power. got hell of lot of power. Yeah. Yeah. You want to come sit on my lap? wow. You want to take your shirt off? my god. Can you smell that trek? Yeah. Yeah. We're not here for the trek. Okay. we're here to see somebody. And who would that be? We're here to see the Nerf Herder. Scruffy Nerf. Stop. And then Zoe just storms off. mean, she's really very difficult specimen to read sometimes, if you know what mean. But you just can't act like that if you want to be one of the guys. Maybe she doesn't want to be one of the guys. She likes you. But didn't. But she kind of just Jesus Murphy. Okay. What What should do? Well, If there's one thing learned being an escort, it's that actions speak louder than words. Did you just say escort? Fantastic. don't think we're alone. You're late. It's all there. maps, passcodes, phony IDs to get you past the front gates. But that's not what's most important. What's most important? We never met. Yeah. think Hi. can't believe that these are classified and there's look at the maps and there's there's badges and there's there's there's trekking with teaching. What is this for? Just something for the ride. Thank you. This is unreal. How did you score all this stuff? Are you kidding? I'm William Shatner. can score anything. Okay. How about how about Jerry Ryan's panties? anything. I'm so glad that we met. Me, too. This is Whoa. Okay. Touch private convo cheese. What the hell are you? What are you doing, man? Get the hell out of here. It's not good time. The force is strong with me here. Actually, your hour's over. What do you mean, hookers? Punch. they're hookers. We're not hookers. We're escorts. The difference being don't know. Excuse me. Sorry. You're telling me that just spent the last hour sweet talking smoking hot? You could always pay for another hour. How much? $1,000 dollars each. want refund. Give me refund. Is that possible? You know what? We're male prostitutes and you owe us $1,000. You can talk it over with Roach. Roach. Daddy. Greetings and salutations. It is payday. 10,000 shares of Price Line. Anything. Next time you see Harry Nles, tell him we're square. friends of yours. Fan del vintage. this has all been really big misunderstanding. You see, my friend and we didn't know that we were on the clock, per se. Yeah. You thought you were getting that for free, did you? Mr. Roach. Yeah. Yeah. Would you mind not eating those peanuts cuz buddy, these are like $10 peanut, you know. Yeah. Yeah. Well, why don't you take out the $2,000 that you and your skinny little idiot friend owe me. How's that sound? What? Rebel Alliance. What? Annunciate. Rebel Alliance. Rebel Alliance, we recognize the tat. We're Star Wars fans. You're Star Wars fans? Yeah. Why didn't you say so, man? God, you think that? Go check this out, man. Look. Tire right side rebel alliance. Do or do not. That's funny. And this arm is the dark side. Don't join the dark side of the force. Check this out. Episode one. Boonikens. Jar Jar Binks. That guy's going to be the tell you. Wow. Right. You like that? had them do that pose. thought it was funny. That is awesome. You guys are all right. So, we're all hunky dory. We're all copacetic. Well, if the word copacetic means I'm going to rip off your tongue and lick your ass with it, then yeah, we're we're copetic. It was lovely to meet you. Thank you so much for listening. Really? No. Grab the princess. Come on. Get off me. I'm not speaking. No. No. Seriously, Zoe, we got to go now. Why are we running? What did you do? They're everywhere. They're everywhere. That's him. He's the one who destroyed Khan. You call Han Solo Han Solo is No one calls Han Solo What are you doing? You stop this, you little sons of I'm going to kill you. You'll stop. Joey hit him with the best. Yeah. Nailed it. Jesus. Where'd he go? Fall out. Dr. Richardson, your friend's awake. Cool. Can we see him? Yes. but first we need to have little talk. Lionus tells me that you're on some sort of road trip. yeah, up to San Francisco. Well, not anymore, fellas. The only place he's going is back to Ohio. We can't do that. just what's so important in San Francisco? Star Wars. Star Wars. Look, he is very very sick and he needs to go home. No, guys, we can't we can't we can't do this now. We can't give up now. Not when we're so close. It's It's just movie. Yeah, maybe it is. Maybe it is. You know what? To most people, Star Wars is just movie, right? Not to us. They just spoke to the doctor. Screw that doctor. Screw Screw all those people. Did Did they ever ever get their their head stuck in bucket trying to be Darth Vader? mean, don't think so. No. No. Did Did they ever since their eyebrows trying to make lightsaber? No way. Did they name their right hand Leia? Who knows? Yes, they could have. But you know who did? Me. Yes, you did. So did So did you. We all did. You guys are freaking sick. You know that? This is our death star, man. And don't know about you guys, but I'm not running away from this one. Me neither. Screw it. name both my hands. right there. please. You're our only hope. Take two of these every 3 hours. my god. love you. know. No worse than lock when you've got turret. Am right? Seriously, man. That is it, man. don't want to do this anymore. Why not? What' tell you? Sweet and womanly, right? Womanly. Make sure you go tell your friends. I'll be back. Hi. my god. my god. my god. my god. my god. my god. my god. my god. my god. Shut up, man. It was 100 miles ago. Stop living in the past. my god. Look at the road. Do you guys Do you guys see it? Look. You got to steal that sign, guys. Zoe, how we looking out there? One guard manning the booth. Couple Room and about. Nothing we can't handle. All right, fellas. marks our target. Level editing bays. It's our best chance for finding the rough cut. Excellent. Okay, once we've reached the front gate, we're going to be off on foot. So, we're going to have to take shortcut at this wall right here. And you know what that means? Are you grappling hook? Mean soy means how to look up there. Make sure there are no cameras. Go back. Jesus. Jesus. Ow. Okay. There he is. Good man. Let's go. Follow my lead. Follow my lead. Get down. Stay low. Good job. Ninja roll. Yeah, guys. Get down, jackass. Guys, wait for me. This is like the most exercise you guys have gotten all year. Here it is. This is the one the Shatter said would be open. breach in Skywalker security. Wow. Okay, we're in. feel like we're in Scooby-Doo episode. Go, go, go, go. Hutch. Yeah, your ass still smells like ham and cheese. Sweet. Shatner, don't fail us now, right? my god. No way, bro. See, that's what call collection. This is where want my ashes scattered. Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're my only hope. They've got indie stuff. Thermal detonator. Then I'm going to cry. Hey, they got Willow's spell book. You know Willow little guy magical kind who cares about Willow. Look at this father. Throw me the idol. Guys, look at this. We've got bad dates. One kadam for the Hebrew garden which this would carve for. We have reached the archival the no matter how you felt about the guy Vader embraced his fate. He faced death head on. No one move. Subjects have been located. Requesting backup. Please step away from Lord Vader. Dude, what's up with the outfits? Company policy. Do you want to work here? You got to wear the suit. Carl, you make us wear the suit. Run. Run. Run. Go. Just go. Windows. Come on. I'm not leaving without her. Only the craziest three against one. Never tell me the odds. There can be only one. Time for you to get moved, boy. Let's go. Man down. Down. Subjects are fleeing to the west corridor. Yoda says going up. You are Get your ass. Come on. Let's go. That was awesome. Where the hell are we? have bad feeling about this. you guys don't think that the we are in George Lucas's trash room. Don't be ridiculous, okay? The walls are not going to close in on us. Holy Jesus. Forify the walls with this. Do it. You walls, girls. That would be the air duct and that there is. Yeah, the exit. And you guys would be 3, we're all right. This room's clear. think we lost. Yeah, we lost it for now. But we cannot run around this place all night. Guys, we're in the motherboard. We're in. Look at this office. Holy wow. We're We're my god. Motherboard. We're in You guys need to see this. You guys need to see this. Look. my god. This is it. my god. episode one. The crawl. The crawl. my god. There you are. That hugger in Vegas gave me something. What? The truth. I'm in love with you. And love you. Okay. On your feet. Us. Yeah. Okay. Come on out. On your feet. Get on out of here. Come on. Now. Get on your feet. Yeah. Get on your feet. Who the hell are these people? Line up against the wall. All of you. You heard him. Back against the wall. Get up. Get out there. What are you talking about? Hey, step away from the Millennium Falcon and line up against the wall. No. god. Linus, what are you doing then? I'm feeling crazy right now. Dude, do you have any idea how valuable that thing is? Not Not good idea. Put it down. Come on. Put it down now. You guys stand up against the wall or will smash this thing into billion pieces. will. will smash this. No. You think won't? No, don't. No, you don't. You think that won't. Or no, you don't. You think that will? The first one. I'm confused. Who's doing what now? You tell me. It doesn't matter because if he puts down the Millennium Falcon, will smash this training remote into million pieces, erasing it from history. Come on, guys. Let's rethink this. Shut up, Windows. Who's doing what? Okay, put down the Millennium Falcon and the training remote or will destroy this puppet. Craig, you can't shut up, Barry. Put down Master Yod. Put it down. You put yours down. Give it kid. All right, everybody. Shut up. Swear to God, this little wee walk is going up in flames. I'll do it. Do it. Go ahead. Burn it. will. Yeah, burn it, guys. Nobody wants this. will. Burn it. Burn it. I'm going to burn it. That's what said. Burn it. said it. Good. was always more of Star Trek fan anyway. Trekies are everywhere. We'll take from here, sir. Can't believe let you guys. I'm serious. How you guys doing? You guys doing good? So, let me get this right. You guys wanted to see our movie early for free. So, you broke into private property. And you tried to steal it. haven't even seen the movie yet. Sir, understand that this looks bad. It looks like 3 to 5 years locked up for breaking entering bad. That's right, sweet cheeks. By the time you all walk away from this, your faces are going to be shrunken and shriveled just like you're one nut. What? How can you possibly know that? we know about your Uniball. We know everything, Mr. Harold Hutchinson, aka Hutch, son of Gloria, humongous Rush fan. Dude, you're freaking me out, man. How do you know this? Because you have Rush shirt on, And because we have dossier on every single one of you. No one move. Get your hands off the glass table. Hello, Mr. Lucas. Yes. can hear his beard. Yes. Mhm. don't want to say that it was hole in my security, but how did you guys break? used grappling hook. Was William Shatner involved with the show? No, not at all. They said no. No. No one was hurt. Not yet. Mhm. Okay. Very well. I've just been told that what said earlier, no longer believe. Mr. Lucas is touched and mildly flattered by what you have done here. And have been informed that feel the same way. So, the charges are going to be dropped. That is, of course, if you are what you appear to be. What do we appear to be? Fanboys. Something we can easily determine with simple quiz. What is the name of the planet that Leia gave Grand Moff talking as the false location of the rebel base in episode 4? What is the name of the gunner and Luke's snoweeder? Where is woman's G-spot located? What? If you were to ask woman to perform Mississippi handbag, where would your testicles end up? That's not Star Wars question. didn't say the nipples. said the little bumps around the nipples. Are that is not Louisiana pile driver. But you wouldn't know about that, would you? Virgin virgin. Areola borealis near the bumps. That's what you do. You aim for the eye, grab the lip, lead her around the room, blinding the marlin. God, you're sexy and well-versed. like it. Okay, guards. Okay, that's it. Let's go. Byebye. Congratulations. Mr. Lucas has decided to drop the charges. All right. So, what? So, we we're free to go, right? Well, not exactly. He says you can watch the film. my god. We can watch. Hold it. Hold it. Only you. It's good, man. It's right. Are you lonely summer? We found the ground and that damage was done. As cold as you fade into the sun, where' you go? You're alive. Fallen frames. They told me you stand out so loud chewy catch where we Somebody's life for his hands. Sing to me hope as she understand. That's not bad. Thanks, man. something need to should probably tell you before before I'm gone. You could say it. won't hold it against you. just wish could change these last three years. You know, you know, wouldn't want you to. You got to keep the flaws. Crappy effects, real puppets. That's what makes it so good. Yeah. This was never about the movie. Yeah, this was this is about all of us. Look at us. We're We're together again. Freezing our nuts off now. No teaming up. That's rule. Such dicks. I'm going to go save him. You coming? No, I'm good right here. Get it right here. Guys, it's time. That better be your lucky R2 poking me. Nope. My penis. You guys are gross. Any sign of punch? Talk to me. Where the hell are you? I'm just finishing up at the garage here, man. Yeah. Well, shake leg baster. We're saving your place. All right. Yes. That's awesome. That's awesome. my god. Right at the buzzer. Yeah. Excuse me. Are you Eric Botler? Yeah. We just got your new comic. Thanks, guys. appreciate that. don't think it's quite shoddy. Worst series ever. Total Lucas ripoff. The artwork is neopight at best. What's up, my nerds? Why don't you ask the man for an autograph? Ask the man for an autograph. Do it. You are douchebag love. Here you go. All right, let's move it. Bubba in the line. Move it. Let's go. Chaz, what the hell are you doing here, man? come on, bro. It's the wars. love that about you. What' you see? Three penis face. What'd you pay that trip? smart man. Thank you, sir. Good. Thank you. Hey guys, and Hey you guys. What? What if the movie sucks? Heat. Heat. Heat. Heat. Hallelujah.