I Tried a 6 Step Formula for Writing Better Sentences

you think you know how to write sentence right mean it's easy anybody can do it but there are levels in mastering the sentence it's like the difference between knowing how to shoot basketball and then knowing how to shoot basketball like Steph Curry and really don't care whether you were writing your first book or your 19th book this six step process will elevate your sentence writing the first step of this process is to look at the sentence before it sentences don't exist in isolation you need sentence variety so when you look at that previous sentence you need to figure out whether you're going to pair this sentence with it meaning Echo it in some way or whether you're going to contrast with it and try to make it as different as possible to create little more variety sentences are really like music and you have to know what the note before was so you can figure out what the next note should be now if you want hilariously bad example of sentences not realizing what the previous sentence was got one for you this is from Gary probost this sentence has five words here are five more words five word sentences are fine but several together become monotonous listen to what is happening the writing is getting boring the sound of it drones it's it's like stuck record the ear demands some variety that is perfect encapsulation of why you need more sentence variety so from that little passage what is it demanding it's demanding long sentence long sentence to break up that Ratatat Rhythm and give us some variety some musical flow so here are three quick ways to create little bit more variety one that we've kind of already touched on already is length you want to alternate short with medium with long two is structure you want to start your sentences in different ways you don't want them all to be SVO meaning subject verb object he did this so look at this example from the handmaid's tail by Margaret Atwood today despite Rita's closed face and pressed lips would like to stay here in the kitchen that little word that little today at the beginning if you have little word followed by comma at the beginning of your sentence and contrasts well with the structure of your other sentences another structure strategy is to start with dependent clause this one is from Cormac McCarthy's the road when he got back that's not finished sentence right that's the dependent clause right there the boy was still asleep and the third idea to create variety is rhythm look at this three-part sentence in Karen Russell's swamplandia we'd stare at the sun grip the grass hold on to each other in the dark it really flows off the tongue it's such beautifully constructed sentence so the sentence before it probably shouldn't have three-part Rhythm and neither should the sentence after it now do my best when creating these YouTube videos to make them as concise and as helpful as possible but obviously can't fit all of my knowledge into YouTube video so if you do want more about sentence variety and everything else know about sentences check out my course how to write splendid sentence Link in the comments below for that the second step in constructing sentence is cherry pick the verb lot of writers pick verb sort of instinctually almost like the way AI would do it right they're just predicting what is the verb that normally goes in this space but say cherry pick for very specific reason the idea of cherry picking is you're looking over number of verbs that you could choose between and you're being like that one looks nice yes please I'm trying to get you to focus more on verb selection because verbs are the little Des spots of the sentence there's these little authoritarian rulers that control everything that's going on around them if you spend little bit more time picking your verbs deliberately it's going to pay these outsize dividends in improving your sentences here's few great examples to inspire you Tony Morrison writes about heavy sunflowers weeping over fences love that verb weeping now what's verb you could have put in there right you could have put in there bending right heavy sunflowers bending their way over fences But it includes this contradiction between you think of sunflowers being happy and yet weeping makes them seem sad but it implies that they are bending without actually saying the word bending it's doing lot of work that verb here's one from Dracula by Bram Stoker the fog slithered in from the sea what's verb you would normally put in there the fog drifted in from the sea or crept in from the sea there's nothing wrong with those verbs but you get this sense of forboding and this snake likee connotation from the word slithered it makes the scene creepier doesn't it and here's the example from pet cemetery by Stephen King memories scuttled like roaches when the light snapped on scuttled is such fun verb right there right if you were writing the sentence maybe you would pick something little bit simpler something like scattered or something but scuttled gives this very peculiar flavor to that sentence now think there are two mistakes when it comes to verbs one don't try to get too fancy don't try to pull out stuff like be queef just say give and don't say remunerate when you really mean pay or use Fancy Pants language like transpire when you really mean happen weeping slithered and scuttled are not like $10 words that you can only find in the dictionary they're like kind of average words what makes them great is the different contexts that they're used in we don't normally think of fog slithering we don't normally think of sunflowers weeping if you take normal word and put it in an unusual context that elevates the verb and it elevates the sentence and the second mistake is just to try to avoid Plain Jane verbs right these are the common everyday verbs they're the first verbs that you think of when you write this sentence this is stuff like passive verbs right like it's just not very exciting pick strong active verbs that really light up your sentence so if you want to see some more great verbs would recommend checking out my article on the 100 most beautiful sentences ever written there are some doozies in there you're going to love it they're beautiful overall but they also include some really beautiful verbs on that page you can also sign up for my email list which only covers how to write sentences it's fascinating series of emails you'll love it once again Link in the description below the third step to writing dynamite sentence is to pick power word so when was doing Graduate Studies at USC studied with Janet Fitch who's probably best known for her novel White Oleander great teacher learned so much from her and this is tip got from her she recommended that every single sentence that you write have one power word basically word that elevates that sentence from being mere conveyor belt of information into something little more unusual and surprising so let's look at some examples of that this is sentence from James Stalter she had rich naked laugh now what do you think the power word is there would say it's naked right don't think of laughs as being naked but what love about that word is it describes something about the laugh which is very unguarded she doesn't care who hears her laugh right it's completely unselfconscious here's an example from Marilyn Robinson's Gilead am grateful for all those dark years even though in retrospect they seem like long bitter prayer now what do you think the power word is there would argue that it's bitter love how bitter and prayer are fighting with each other little bit like you don't normally think of prayer as being really bitter thing and that's why it's really surprising and then here's sentence from flan O'Brien the road ran away westwards in the midst of the early morning running cunningly through the little Hills what do you think the power word is in that sentence think it's cunningly cunningly is great because one it's mirroring the word before it they both have that ning but also like this personification of the road it's not just road which is sitting there it is deliberately taking action it is running cunningly like you get sense of these twists and turns of the road now am not telling you to use like synonym to try to find like crazy words out there think it's best when it usually happens organically and I'm also not telling you to choose complex words if you look at these words naked bitter cunningly mean they're not super complex or super esoteric words and should also say like if there is sentence sentence you really really love and you've always like stared at it and loved it and put it up on pedestal on your bookshelf then want to hear about it please leave it in the comments below so we can have this like repository of amazing sentences and here is Step number four to write killer sentence create story arc the purpose of this step is to get you to think about sentences as being mini stories in other words you should think about your sentences transporting you from the beginning of the sentence and you should end up in different place by the end of the sentence the beginning of the sentence is basically setting up expectations that by the end you want to invert or subvert or fulfill in some way and absolutely love this example from Michelle Welbeck it's just gem of sentence it's from his book The Elementary particles he was still handsome man with tanned chiseled face and long thick wavy white hair but his cells had begun to reproduce in halfhazard fashion destroying the DNA of neighboring cells and secreting toxins into his body did not warn you that was going to be an incredible sentence okay so we have the first half of the sentence we think it's just like description of guy no big deal we see his face we see his hair like this is really like normal run-of-the-mill stuff and then the cancer part of the sentence takes over but it doesn't just say like by the way he has cancer it describes it in very scientific manner like cells reproducing in halfhazard fashion DNA getting messed up so the beginning of that sentence is guy who's an everyday Joe right nothing remarkable about him by the end of the sentence we have man dying from cancer this next example is from yah josi's book Transcendent Kingdom when first started studying the neutral circuits of reward seeking behavior in mice didn't believe they could feel fear but would come to understand that they could feel everything fear relief Joy desire disgust all of it running like current through their tiny Mouse bodies just the same as it runs through mine at the beginning of this sentence we have scientist doing experiments on mice there is clear gap between the woman and the creature but by the end of the sentence by that very surprising last phrase We realize that there's lot that they have in common that's journey that sentence takes readers on journey now have to say that not every sentence is going to do this you shouldn't feel the pressure of trying to make every sentence do this but do think it's very helpful way to think about how to make sure your sentence is pulling its weight and really captivating the reader is making something change making this story arc happen the fifth step in writing knockdown sentence is choose your figure of speech now no not every sentence needs figure of speech but lot of beautiful great sentences do include some kind of figure of speech so don't want to talk about metaphor and Sim because you guys are smart right you already know what those are so let's skip over that and get into some more complex more surprising ones let's look at matomy which is basically when one word is substituted for another word here's an example from The Three Musketeers by Alexander Dumas he shall think differently the musketeer threatened when he feels the point of my steel so instead of saying the word sword right instead he substitutes it for something that represents the word sword steel that's momy folks you probably use it and haven't even realized you've used it and here is an example of stii from John steinbecks of and Men you know how the hands are they just come in and get their bunk and work month so the synect key in that sentence is hands and what it is is just when you substitute part for the whole right now he just says hands but he doesn't actually mean like an actual physical hands don't know what that was he means like hand as symbol of you know person whole person working on the farm the most important part of that person are their hands right that's how they do all their farm work and so that is word that substitutes for the whole here are two figures of speech which are super important and that you need to use like actually quite frequently anaphora and epistrophe and these are opposites anaphora is when you repeat word at the beginning of phrase and love this example from Karen Russell swamplandia our mother performed the road show Gator Warrior act in front of 2,000 people 5 days week four times day and afterwards she showed me how to do it too how to hold your breath and rise from the lake like goddess how to hold very still in the cage how to smile in such way that your smile tells people they are lucky to be watching you die so there's actually two examples of anaphora in that one is near example of anaphora we have numbers at the beginning 2,000 people 5 days week four times day that's not exactly anaphoric because it's not exactly the same word but it's it's close and then the second half of the sentence has actual anaphora how to hold your breath how to hold very still how to smile in such way way an epistrophe is the opposite where you end each part of the sentence with similar word here's an example from the was beater at the bottom of everything they were family of Silence Nothing But Blind black cold crumbling silence his father never anchored or steady like his mother his mother never sanguin or loose like his father so love that repetition of the word silence at the end of those initial two phrases it really creates the sort of Music the sort of Rhythm the repetition of the word another figure of speech you should be using in your sentences is antithesis here's an example from Cormac McCarthy's the road you forget what you want to remember and you remember what you want to forget it's such neat parallelism and it's just flipped over little bit right the two halves of the sentence are mirrors of one another I'd also encourage you to use Hyperbole and lies which always want to read as lotes but that's not how you say it these are also opposites here's an example of hyperbole from Gabriel Garcia Marquez at that time bogat was remote lria City where an insomniac rain had been falling since the beginning of the 16th century so the rain wasn't really falling continually since the 16th century right mean that's clearly an exaggeration but love how it like sets the tone and the mood of this story like it feels in the city like rain has been falling for four centuries and here's an example of lies from the classic Beowolf the sword wasn't useless to the warrior well duh the sword just killed grindle I'd say it it's actually pretty dang useful but that figure of speech of underplaying something which is the opposite of hyperbole works really well sometimes and the last figure of speech you should be using as repetition it is very difficult to retrain our brains which have been lectured to by high school English teachers saying don't repeat things well mean don't be redundant but redundancy is different than repetition repetition could be really beautiful mean music is founded on repetition here's great example of repetition from Anne Patchett the patron saate of liars so said yes to Thomas Clinton and later thought had said yes to God and later still realized had said yes only to Thomas Clinton said yes yes said yes said yes but the story also takes us on journey she thought she was saying yes to boy and then thinks no was just following God's commands and then realized no was just going after boy actually have post on book Fox which is all about using repetition and sentences and how to do it well and how not to screw it up I'll also put link to that in the description below the sixth and final step to writing brilliant sentence is cut the fat now had initially written that as cut away the fat and then decided what if do what I'm telling other people to do and kill the away and think cut the fat is just nice and direct so I'll stick with that so what are things that you can cut away in sentence so that what remains is highlighted one always have Keen Eye for adjectives and adverbs sometimes you can pile up too many in sentence that ends up cluttering the pros rather than Illuminating what you should concentrate on which is primarily nouns and verbs those are the engines of sentence that's what powers sentences the second thing you should cut is prepositional phrases particularly if you have say three or four in row it's just way too much in my bed under the covers with my pillow was sword the in and the under and the with that's three in row prepositional phrases it's usually not the best technique unless you're really really trying to go for some sort of like prepositional phrase pile up the third step in trying to cut the fat is just to trim unnecessary words they collaborated together on the project well could they collaborate alone think not so cut that together man right they collaborated on the project simpler more direct that's how you want do it and the very last step in cutting the fat is don't be afraid of short sentences like they are not something to fear see lot of authors they are never having like three-word sentence in their book and that's shame like if you don't have three-word sentence in your book there's problem with your book you should have at least one and if you don't believe me hey watch my video on short sentences hopefully that will convince you of the absolute Genius of writing extremely short sentences