Istikhara Are there any signs

now let's talk about the this is for some older people always get asked the question even today got it this is probably the most that get questions about relationships and family married couples divorced couples people are having problems people are ready to get married today we're going to talk about those who want to get married and once you want to get married obviously it is little bit scary when you think about lifelong relationship cuz the person you choose they're with you they're stuck with you and you're stuck with them you're going to have to make it work that choice is it and it will affect every part of your life that is true however there is alhamdulillah beauty to it if you follow the right Pathways insh and the best path best pathway is to follow the pathway of Allah God who made you we have alhamdulillah the Quran ready for us and we have the statements of our prophets and our Prophet mammad Sall Al so intricately and detailed right to even what he used to do with his wife inside the house she used to describe how he was as husband so we have so much detail we have even how many white hairs the prophet sallallah alhi wasallam had in his beard literally we counted them and we know everything about so we have so much information and guidance as basis to which way to go about it so let's talk about the lot of people say made an should do have to have feeling am meant to see dream is there sign just today someone asked me she said got interested in brother family member and after long time and made asked him or sent someone to ask him and he said no I'm not interested she said is that sign said absolutely absolutely he doesn't want you there's no there's no you know magical thing about it so my brothers and sisters someone else they approached me and said and this is cultural tradition I'm going to talk about some really wrong things that people do sometimes culture sometimes it's our elders who get it wrong and and stuff it up for the young people they make it very hard for them one of the things about that is so false and wrong is when the they say you have to get your father or your grandfather or Sheikh or an IM to do thear for you because they're more holy they're more religious so they'll do the for you and then they'll tell you what dream they had and the dream will tell them if you should go ahead or not this is the most misleading thing I've ever heard in my life it contradicts all the teachings of Islam there is nothing in the Quran or Sunnah of the entire Hadith you search it and challenge anyone to find it text where the Quran or the prophet told us that's how thear is done is prayer you pray two then you ask Allah Dua and you don't go in and say to somebody hey you know just came into the mosque can you please do the for me I'll just sit on the corner over there you don't say that to people and Dua is yours the proper way to do it is that you have to do it because you're the one who's meaning it it's coming out from your heart you're the one who wants Allah to help you right no one else so it's not from the Sunnah it's not from Islam that someone else does thear for you don't know where people got this from don't know what justifications they had I'm not saying it's Haram I'm just KN it's not the right way and you're going to be misled that way I've had these situations lot of people come so I'm not going to say one person many they come to me and say well my grandfather said he is going to do the for me brother asked for me for example or sister asked for me and you got the grandfather for example or the father or an uncle who has gone on very different tangent of Islam you know very spiritual one that's you know the type of spirituality where they're detached from what reality of life really is you know some people take Islam as something so spiritual that is completely detached from real life it's almost fantasy that's not how Islam is Islam is practical so the grandfather went or the father don't know who they made they saw dream it was bad dream maybe the Shan came to them don't know they said you're not allowed to marry this guy but he's good guy he's religious guy he's good good character he has job he has an income he's known to be trustworthy he's known to be honest Everybody Talks well about him he's got good reputation at school he's got good family no the dream they base it on the dream brothers and sisters there are so many stories like this sometimes they say made an and really want this person so so why did you do the thear is asking Allah for advice and guiding you someone said can say the first part of thear not the second part cuz this is how thear goes saw the sallallahu alaihi wasallam said if any of you has decided to take step towards particular Endeavor anything in life you have made the decision and you want to go ahead before you go ahead pray two and say the the sounds like this Allah seek your counsel for you know do not know you you have the the you are the one who Wills cannot will you are the all knower of everything Allah if this is good for me in my religion my well-being and and worldly Affairs and my Hereafter then Grant it to me and Grant me to it and bless it for us and if it is bad for me for my religion my worldly Affairs and well-being and for my Hereafter then keep it away from me and me away from it and guide me to where is better and make me accept it now someone said to me can say the first part if it is good for me bring it and me to it but not the second part said well that's not you're asking Allah to make it work for you there's no way where it says that the the condition of is that you have to have an open heart that you feel good all the way or that you have to have dream there's nothing like that wasam said once you have made your decision now listen carefully it says the is in if one of you has decided what does that mean one of you has decided meaning you have gone researched investigated asked about them met them or sorry even before meeting them let's say you want to make to go and meet them for marriage you go and ask about them you find out if they even want to get married you research about them you ask families you ask friends look at their social media page after you've done all that research then you make the before going over then after you meet them and talk to them and you investigate second the second step after all that you use you use your logic you use your rationale you study you investigate you think about what you want you ask the questions you study the topics then before the next major step making the decision to get married make Anar why because there's two parts to making decision number one is the normal practical logical rationale of how things work get to know the person for crying out loud do all the proper stuff take advice from experts from your parents do all that stuff know what you want ask the right questions we talked about that last week that's for the now you want to get married now do investigation for the now so what is the for the is for the later is for the future we know what's happening now but we not we don't know what where it will go in the future so we make the for the unknown future not for the now as for the now investigate make your and said there are some signs to thear but don't use them specifically don't rely on one or two don't say made Anar and that night you saw dream you saw snakes and dogs is he good for me say no that's the Shan thean is telling you don't take him because probably good so but there's nothing that says you have to see dream dream after the dreams in general come in three forms in general not attached toar just in general number one they are the conversations you have with your conscience the things you think about in the day when you go to sleep your brain and you talk to each other that's the majority of Dreams majority of us the second type of dream are nightmares that come from the Shan they're the the dogs and the cats and the scary monsters and the snakes and and don't know what and the night terrors and the sleep paralysis all these come from the shaan they don't harm you they just scare you little bit you wake up you're little bit terrified recite turn to the other side Say bah and you'll be okay inshallah the third type of dreams are the ones from Allah subhana wa tala they're difficult to say properly sometimes they're mixed with other things so you got to ask the El theh or an IM or scholar or somebody you know who's knowledgeable little bit who can kind of give you some advice you don't just go and determine it yourself that's not attached to the it could be but it's not nor is it that you're going to say feel so goodi when the sun comes out feel good some people they they're not thinking about I've seen this before they're not thinking about some but it was nice day they go and they fall in love it's not because the girl or the boy is good it's because the sun was out it's because the weather was nice you had Euphoria hormones came out the happy for the serotonin and dopamine right it you got to distinguish between psychological or hormonal reactions bit of adrenaline and use your brain to sit down write it down what questions what's important in my marriage what's important in my life let's look at my family what kind of family would suit that I'd be part of imagine myself in 10 years time and have children how would my life be then go and talk do work what would like her to be how would like him to be what would matter to me what would make me stop getting to this marriage that's how you think logically and rationally then the comes later for the future so that Allah can be there for you and open the pathway for you sometimes you may see ease doors opening opening opening that's good sign sometimes you won't feel anything at all sometimes you won't feel anything at all tell you keep going sometimes you may feel little bit up and down maybe maybe not it doesn't matter keep going if it happens it happens if it doesn't happen alhamdulillah you'll know in the end you will feel it in the end just by the way cause and effect is that man this is getting too hard father's getting really stubborn the girl is having thoughts up and down one minute we're together next minute we're not I've seen so many red flags so try to understand what your feelings are and what your brain is telling you it's very very important so brothers and sisters with the advice and support of family and elderlies inshallah and by praying to Allah and making Dua you cannot go wrong brothers and sisters and your investigation and research brothers and sisters therefore now we understand what the is okay it's for the future for now make your research investigate do all the things you have to do and make decision there's nothing perfect you're never going to have perfect wife or husband ever and you're still going to have your ups and downs don't blame her on no but Allah will be there for you in thick and thin you just do what's right by what he told you and the rest of it rely on Allah tala and keep going all right brothers and sisters that's the best thing inshallah