The Importance of Maintaining Family Ties Explained Mufti Menk

My brothers and sisters, Allah Almighty created us to family. Always it happens you have mother. Isaam had mother. Adamisam was created by Allah. Wasam was created without mother through miracle of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala via Adam. Why did Allah choose to create us within family unit? And if you look carefully, it's not only family unit. It's many families put together. And then it is community and perhaps town or city. Why? If Allah wanted, he could have made us all separate. We could have grown like plants. If Allah wanted, it could have been. But because part of your test is to fulfill the rights of those who are related to you starting with your parents. That is why Allah wants to give you that opportunity to fulfill the test and to get full marks if not good marks. May Allah Almighty grant us deep understanding. And for this reason Allah has given so much of importance to parents and at the same time he has given so much of importance to relatives. Give the rights and the dues to your relatives and then to the poor and the needy. Subhan Allah. Allah starts off with relatives. If you are wealthy person and you want to give charity, charity begins at home. What that means is look in your relatives, in your families. If there are poor people amongst them, that's where you start. Subhan Allah. You cannot be wealthy person taking care of the whole world, but your brothers and sisters of the same mother and father or your relatives of the same family are struggling and suffering and you're sitting there helping the rest of the world. What did you understand? We're not saying that it's not important to help the rest of the world, especially when there is greater need. Say for example, two people are struggling. One is your family, but they're not struggling so bad. The other one is distant, but they are dying. In that case, you start with the distant one. Common logic. But you must remember when the two are similar, you need to begin with the ones who are closer to you. It's your duty. Allah Almighty made it your responsibility. Allah praises those who keep the ties with those whom they've been instructed to maintain ties with. Who are they? Your family, your broader family. Now, Allah mentions this many times in the Quran. Do you know why? For the same reason that he mentions salah so many times and zakah so many times. It's not easy to get up and fulfill fud is not joke. To do five salah day is not joke. It's tough job. It's very difficult. You might be working, traveling, doing whatever else you are busy something to be able to stop everything and say Allah abbar very few can do that. Recently we watched some people during cricket match. fellow realized subhan Allah owe it to Allah on the pitch. He decided here's my salah. It's not easy to do that. It requires solid heart. It needs someone who's dedicated. So Allah repeats this so many times in the Quran. Fulfill your salah. Establish your salah. Then he says give your zaka. Why? The more you get in life, the nature of man is the stingier he becomes. Poor people are quick to give. Trust me, the wealthy ones, they find it hard to give unless you believe in Allah. When your heart is attached to materialism, your belief in Allah becomes weak. That's fact. When your heart is attached to money, you cannot be attached to Allah. The two don't go together. So if you find someone who's got lot of wealth and they give lot, that person is close to Allah because Allah says when we give you something, use the gift we gave you to get closer to Allah. Some people we gave them knowledge, use that knowledge to get closer to Allah, to get Jenna. Have knowledge in field. Even if it is some form of education, you are school teacher. You are someone who can teach others. You're lecturer. If Allah gave you something, give it to others. That's how you will get your Jenna. Subhan Allah. And the same applies if you have something like wealth some if you have some expertise in some field teach it to someone else. Subhan Allah. That's how you'll get your Jenna. Allah wants the world to progress not to go back because of your selfishness. mentioned many times that sometimes you know it's unfortunate to say this but people today feel so offended if someone were to ask them for their recipe. like this food. Can you give me the recipe? They say no won't. mean hope that's not the case amongst us but it is the case amongst many you can't even hand it so your recipe will die with your death. Subhan Allah. Allah says if you continued it little bit perhaps people will give you dua for free. Allah abar may Allah grant us goodness and ease. But the point I'm raising is the issue of family and community. It has been stressed so much by Islam. Your paradise is closely connected to how you treat your family members, especially those who don't get along with you. Wow. Wow. Why? Because when the more difficult it is, the greater the possibility of you entering Jenna with ease is the prophet Muhammad wasallam when he recited verses of maintaining family ties, maintaining community ties, maintaining this, maintaining that, do you know what? They asked him, they said, messenger sallallahu alaihi wasallam, well when they do something, do something. They do good, do good. So isn't that good enough?" He says, "No." person who's maintaining proper family ties is not the one who has tit fortat relationship. You do good, do good. He did me this, did him that. It is the one whom when the ties are broken on one end, he goes out to mend them. He spends some time and he makes an effort to try and solve the matter. Make an effort. Then if there is no response from the other side, you fulfilled your duty. Once in while you can keep on trying, but at least you tried. The Quran doesn't say and the Sunnah does not say your problems will be resolved, but you have to try. It's not easy to live within big broader family. But you need to have big heart. You need to learn to forgive. You need to learn to forgo. You need to learn to do your best. Yes. where there is oppression, you will need to stand up for the one who is right. There's no doubt. It does not mean that no, we are going to stand up for the one who's wrong simply because he's more powerful. Not at all. And that's why when the prophet sallallam was explaining the struggle and the jihad, he said, you know what is the best jihad? To speak the truth in front of authority that is very oppressive. Sultan in Jer you have someone in authority someone powerful in whatever on whatever level it may be but they are higher than you and you are able to in beautiful manner explain to them in beautiful manner that you know what this is the truth we with due respect you are wrong. Subhan Allah. This is something that we lack. Now moving beyond family my brothers and sisters be the Islam is based on May Allah protect us. That should it should not be the case. If we were genuine in our salam, it would become meaningful to live in families and societies and communities. We would learn we would not have problems. Do you know when you are struggling? Say for example, give you small Zimbabwean example. Say the lights go, electricity is gone for one week. When we are all together collectively, 500 people united, we can solve the problem in 2 minutes. And even if we don't, everyone feels okay because we're in it together, right? We're in it together. We talk about it. We do this. We do that. We're okay. Look at the cues that we used to have for various items that were necessary. For example, fuel. There are times when it has happened and it may happen in the future. May Allah protect us. But because it was all of us in it, weren't we enjoying it to certain extent? Some people missed those cues. Subhan Allah. They made friends in those cues. Some people did business deals in those cues better than any other business deal. So people were together. That's the reason this togetherness is absolutely important. And in order to be together, you need to have big heart. Without big heart, you won't be together. If you are selfish, you cannot unite. If you are selfless, you will be able to unite. But there is one condition, simple one. We cannot allow oppression to continue in the name of unity. where you say don't worry one person is oppressing another and you say to the person never mind don't worry let him continue to oppress because we need unity that is not fair you cannot do that the hadith says you should encourage and enjoin that which is correct and you should forbid that which is bad and you should stop the oppression of the oppressor when someone is doing wrong stop the person that's what Allah says why because then the hadith says if you don't do that if you don't do that if you don't stop the wrongdoer doing the wrong time will come that Allah will punish you to the degree that when you make dua to him to alleviate that suffering he won't listen to you because you didn't listen to him all these are part of our duties unto Allah this is how we will attain Jenna this is why we are on earth we are on earth to please Allah that's what it is so what does Allah want he wants you to fulfill the rights of your parents because he created you through them and he wants you to fulfill the rights of your broader family because he chose them as your family kith and kin like said at the beginning if people are struggling you start off with helping your own family first and then everybody else and then community society Allah has created you in it you're supposed to gather at least once week for the jum you come together may Allah grant us goodness and when we meet each other don't make someone uncomfortable greeting you don't immediately start Hey, you're looking like you making lot of money. That type of statement is actually very cutting. You are discouraging someone. Say some good things or keep quiet. If whoever believes in Allah in the last day should say that which is upright or remain silent. Keep quiet. My brotheralam allayikum. How are you my sister? How are you? How is things? How's the family? Mashallah. May Allah bless you, reward you. Let dua come out of your mouth. Do you know why? When you make dua for someone else, the angels are saying amen to the same dua for yourself. How's that? say may Allah bless you. And the angels are saying bless him too. May Allah grant you goodness. Grant him too. So keep on making lots and lots of dua for everyone. My brothers and sisters remember Allah Almighty has also kept day of Eid twice in the year. There are two Eids for Muslim. One is and one is that Eid the prophetam says without valid excuse you are not allowed to remain out of that. Yes, it might be not completely far according to most schools of thought, but you are strongly encouraged to come out for salat. And what do you do? You greet each other. You congratulate each other. What else do you do? Subhan Allah. You come together. You perhaps there there is something sweet that you might want to put in your mouth or what is it all about? You visit your family. It's day of reconciliation. That's what it is. Why did Allah keep that day? In order to give you happiness. Happiness can never be enjoyed alone. You're all alone. I'm sitting on an island, just me and I'm happy. What happiness is that? You need someone with you. Subhan Allah. You will go to the Maldives. You'll always find couples. Mashallah. Why? Cuz person alone, you're going to go there and see what you're going to go there and do what? Subhan Allah. You might find broader family. Mashallah. People say, took my children and went or took my wife and went." You if someone says, went alone." There may be reason. Some people need peace of mind. You want to go alone to be alone for while. No problem. It's not haram. But I'm saying the true happiness continuous long-term is only going to be with the people. And who should it start with? Your family. Make sure that you uphold and uplift ties. want to tell you something. Technology has advanced. Today we have WhatsApp groups. Most families have family group or two or three. Participate in it actively in positive way. Let people feel empowered and happy to be related to you. Let people feel happy to be part of that family such that if they have problem, it's easy to communicate. Half of the solution of problem is to be able to tell it to someone you trust. You know that half of the solution of problem is to be able to communicate it to someone whom you trust and that should be those who are closest to you in relation scenario. May Allah Almighty make it easy for us. So we make use of these groups and we can fulfill duty that was prescribed by Allah through the messenger sallallahu alaihi wasallam via this technological gift that Allah has given us. So easy can maintain ties with relative who's across the oceans just by little click of button or the tapping of screen but still we don't do that sometimes. May Allah Almighty make it easy for us. May he make us fulfill each other's rights. My brothers, my sisters, let us make dua that we start off with our own communities and families and societies where when we see each other, we feel so happy. We feel reassured. We feel I've got solid, genuine brother or sister. They will stand up for me the day something is and will stand up for for them the day they need it most. That's how it should be. It's not difficult. You just need to be simple person who cares for everyone, not just yourself. Don't be selfish because selfishness will not take you to paradise. It is selflessness that will take you to paradise. When you spend and you spend in the right cause, Allah Almighty will call you out on the day of judgment. It will become easy for you to give your records. You know, will end on this note. The now one might say what have you got? What type of charities you know? Zaka for every $100. and may Allah almighty open our doors. My brothers, my sisters, let's endeavor to make society and community beautiful. There are too many struggles across the globe. We are fortunate. We live in country with beautiful weather. Even though it might be little bit warmer for us but if you compare it to other countries wah we are sitting subhan Allah in country that has absolutely beautiful weather. It has safety security preserve it. What do we need? We need people around us who make it more meaningful for us to get up in the morning. Subhan Allah. You get up in the morning, you see the beautiful faces, you smile and you feel like doing something. But if if that's not the case, you don't even want to get up in the morning. You feel like, you know what, don't even want to go anywhere. Why? Because people have become selfish. May Allah Almighty make us means of helping each other. May Allah Almighty help us through communities and societies. May Allah help us to uphold and uplift the rights of our family members and our communities. May Allah help us to stand up for those who are wronged. And may Allah help us to stand up against those who are the wrongdoers. At the same time, may he help us resolve our matters and problems. And may we be people who are the best parents to our children and the best role models to those who look up to us.