The Hidden Romance of Ramadan Marriage

Ramadan is meant to be time to revive the loving and romantic bond between husband and wife. Because if it were merely about permissibility, Allah would not have used the word rafat. First of all, Allahel everything that he reveals to us, he reveals it to us with intention. And just like many things that try to remind you about, which feel are deeply hidden within the spirit of Ramadan, this is one of those matters that believe is often neglected during this month, but it is an adult topic by nature. It concerns the relationship between husband and wife during Ramadan and the manner in which Allah himself addressed it. believe the rulings are familiar to everyone. husband and wife are not allowed to be intimate during the hours of fasting and they are permitted to do so once the fast is broken and before fedger. Correct? But it is not merely about what is allowed. It is about how Allah spoke about it. That is what find truly remarkable. So wanted to share some of these reflections with you. which will not translate just yet has been made lawful for all of you during the night of the fast. Lea refers to the night. This wording suggests that every night should be treated as if it is the only night you have. Otherwise, the phrase would have been leal, the nights of fasting, but instead it is lea meaning every single night of the fast. That is the first observation. The Arabic language and the Quran specifically employs multiple terms to describe intimacy between husband and wife. The emotional and physical bond shared between spouses is conveyed through different expressions. Allah uses many such words. He deliberately avoids explicit terminology. Different words are used such as do not approach them. The concept of closeness is mentioned. Lamasa is used referring to touching one another. Bashir is also used which we will discuss shortly inshallah tala. Right? But here the word Allah uses is and refers to it encompasses the act itself and everything that precedes it. Everything that can occur between man and woman. The entire range of romantic relationship between man and woman is contained within the term ruffath. Okay. Allah says that during the nights, the night of fasting, this romantic relationship is allowed. And then he uses the word ilah which is never paired with rafath. Normally ruffath is used with ma or be but never ila. It is never raflea. The word ilah suggests as scholars have noted and isharon. sense of direction and encouragement. It gives the feeling that you are meant to return to her as though after finishing your prayers, you are meant to intentionally turn back toward your wife to ensure intimacy and romance during the nights of fasting. We have turned Ramadan into routine where we remain in the masid until 2:00 a.m. And what has happened in many Muslim countries is that Ramadan becomes month where nothing else happens. We hibernate from fudger until waking up briefly for zu and assur. Then we consume excessive amounts of fried food. After that, we pray taw week struggling through them uncomfortably. Then we spend the rest of the night at late night restaurants or hookah lounges and then repeat the cycle all over again. Ramadan is meant to be time to revive the loving and romantic bond between husband and wife. Because if it were merely about permissibility, Allah would not have used the word ruffath and he would not have used the word ila. He would not have chosen that phrasing. When Allah makes it permissible, he then says, "Those women are garments for you and you are garments for them." The word libas in Arabic refers to clothing. It also refers to something being interwoven or merged. Figuratively, it is explained to mean that spouses cover one another's flaws, conceal one another's shortcomings, and protect one another. Just as clothing conceals our private parts, husbands and wives are not meant to expose each other's secrets. But within the context of these verses, we often detach this phrase and discuss it in general sense. In its actual context, it presents literal romantic image. You are wrapped around one another just as garments wrap around the body. am emphasizing these points because these are Allah's own words. Allah wants this beautiful, loving relationship to exist between man and woman during the most spiritually intense time of our lives, Ramadan. Why would Allah speak about man and woman experiencing their most romantic connection during time when they are meant to be at their highest level of spirituality and detachment from the world? There is profound link between these two realities. There is deep connection between the loving bond of husband and wife and their relationship with Allah. Our spiritual striving in Ramadan will be incomplete for those of us who are married if this aspect is missing. Men need to make the effort to wear fragrance, to be romantic, to dress well, to eat food that does not leave an unpleasant smell. And if it does, then use breath mint, brush your teeth, take her out. Do not simply fall asleep. Get yourself in shape. Do these things, brothers, sisters. This is not the month to reopen old arguments. This is not the month to revisit past conflicts. This is not the month where someone says, "Do you want to go out?" And the response is, "No, this is not that month. This is not the month where he apologizes and you respond with, do not want to hear it." This is not that time. This is month of romance. This is divinely legislated honeymoon.